Not so new comic review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1990) #9

                Well, the Guardians finally found the lost colony of earthmen, and it is a desolate existence for them.  Apparently the Mutants that escaped with Magneto populated the planet, yet the mutant population dwindled with every generation (which is a smart way of playing it for Valentino, really showing that humans and mutants are the same aside from, basically, a birth defect) and there are now only a handful left.  Of course, the mutants are the ruling class as they hold the human population under their control.  The leader, Rancor, as we will learn this issue, is a descendant of Wolverine and got to her place of power by killing her own father to assume the mantle of leadership.  Maybe Martinex can learn a thing or two about being a leader as he keeps trying to give his position of power away. 

                Anyway, as many tyrants are wont to do, they abuse the populace under them, ruling by fear.  The mutants do this by flying around in their “police” cars and randomly targeting people for execution.  They apparently mess with the wrong human though as Giraud, a major player in the resistance fights back and doesn’t just lay down and die at their whim.  As he is escaping from them a bright light emerges from a doorway in an alley and, of course, he heads through it.  He doesn’t have much choice as the mutants are bearing down on him, but he has no idea what he’s walking into.  We know, because of the way Valentino differentiates Starhawk’s word balloons from everyone else’s, that it’s the one who knows within the bright light. 

 

                When Giraud steps into the light, he is teleported to the Guardians’ ship and proceeds to tell them the story of his world.  It all started when Magneto whisked the remaining mutants away from earth instead of let them stay and be destroyed.  They set up shop on Haven (the name of their current planet) and after a tussle with Apocalypse, Wolverine helped them set up the society that they currently “enjoy” today.  As each generation of mutant continued to rule, they got meaner and meaner which brought us to Rancor, the latest descendant of Wolverine that is more like Sabretooth, Wolverine’s sworn enemy, than the ole’ canucklehead himself. 

                After we learn about the oppression that the humans are living under (not so unsimilar to the oppression felt by mutants in the regular Marvel Universe) we see that first hand as the evil mutants attack the base of operations of the resistance, slaughtering them all. 

                The Guardians try and play the good guy, diplomatic route with the mutants as they split into two teams.  One team, comprised of Yondu, Aleta and Martinex tries to talk to Rancor and find a peaceful solution, while the rest go to confront and aid the resistance if the diplomatic route fails.  It doesn’t take long for the diplomatic route to fail as the guardians are attacked by Rancor and her lieutenants pretty much as soon as they arrive.  The Guardians are outnumbered and quickly lose (surprise, surprise).  The rest of the team (minus Starhawk who is off being mysterious) arrives at the base of the resistance only to see the bodies from the massacre we witnessed earlier.  Not only that, but then Rancor pops up on TV (as most villains usually do) to announce that she has the Guardians and the rest of the team should all be treated as fugitives from the law.  Not only that, but the Guardians that are already captured will be executed one per hour until the rest surrender.

                Will the Guardians get their friends back?  Will they wait four hours and be out of teammates? Will Giraud trim those flowing hair metal locks?  Tune in next time to find out.

All-In

The moral of the story: If you're going to be a political slimeball, you might as well jump in with both feet.

New Music Review: Govt Mule – Shout!

                The last few albums, Govt Mule has fallen into the trap of a really solid opening half that tends to fade away during the second half of the album.  They still remain one of the best live bands you will ever see and Warren Haynes is undoubtedly one of the best guitarists to ever play, so picking up the new album, Shout! was a no-brainer.  While this album was a little more even and not so top-heavy, it definitely adds to the recent tradition of good, not great albums from Warren Haynes and company.   

                The technical precision of the musicians is not lost on me at all in regards to this album.  The songs are very well done, in terms of both the lyrics and the music itself.  They seem to fit very nicely into the pantheon of good work that Govt Mule has put out over its history.  Whereas some bands can change throughout their tenure and that is effectively marked in their discography, Govt Mule is nothing but consistent.  I could craft a playlist of Govt Mule tracks dating back to their self-titled release from the early 90s and, aside from recording quality, you would probably not be able to tell which album or era the music came from.  Not only that, but Govt Mule carries that consistency over to their live shows with amazing regularity. 

                That being said, that consistency leads to some less than stellar results.  Sure, the album is good.  Aside from the reggae-infused Mighty High there isn’t an album in the Govt Mule catalog that is anything but good.  Maybe if I listen to it a bit more some real standouts will emerge, but at this point, an album like Deja Voodoo, not to mention the self titled debut are the standard bearers.  They are full of tracks that can be described as seminal Mule tracks.  I could see a few of these being worked into the live sets (in fact I first heard “No Reward” at the show in Rochester last summer) but it may be more of a shoe-horning process for the sake of promoting the album as opposed to a natural thing. 

                One of the big selling points for this disc is actually the second disc.  The second disc is basically the first disc repeated, just with different singers on the original songs.  Think of Slash’s self-titled album from a few years ago.  The thing here is that we get to listen to the tracks in their original iteration on disc one, then see what a different vocalist does with the same material.  Predictably, some of the songs are better and some are worse, but most toe the line of just as good as the originals.  I’ve always been a huge fan of Warren Haynes as a singer, thinking that his voice is expertly suited for the kind of music the band plays.  While I will not renege on that view, I will say that the different “flavors” that those other vocalists bring to the Govt Mule music is a welcome change.  The band doesn’t stray too far out of its comfort zone in terms of choosing vocalists, but they all add a little something that Haynes doesn’t. 

                In short, if you like Govt Mule, or the blues/jam band type of music in general, this is an album you want to have in your library.  The songs are not the best in the band’s catalog, but it’s new Mule music and honestly, that’s better than nothing.  The bonus disc is just icing on the cake.

My Kingdom for Some Disinfectant

With all the shit that Shrimpy's computer has been through, 

I bet Geek Squad has a field day when he brings it in for repairs.

Mixed Signals

Sometimes it's hard to see the small things with your pants down...unless the "small things" refers to something in your pants of course.

Not so new comic review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1990) #8

                After the insanity of last issue, both in terms of story structure and the presence of Malevolence, the psychic vampire/daughter of the devil/craziness, this issue is billed as what the Guardians do with their “down time”.  They are still en route to the lost colony of Earthmen that they learned about from Vision back in issue six.  It’s nice to see the interim, for Valentino to work in a character issue between all of the fights and the objectives that he has placed in front of the Guardians.  This shows that he is doing more to develop the characters and the team than simply just giving them “things to do” or making this an event comic.  That is what was always so great about the Claremont X-Men books.  In between the events (and often times during them), there was always some character-centric issues.

                We open on another Claremont-ian staple, the training sequence.  The Guardians have their own Danger Room type facility on their ship where they can hone their skills and tactics.  Judging by how badly they get their asses kicked in nearly every issue, they need to spend a lot more time here.  While everyone is training, except for Vance, he’s running the simulation because he now has the Captain America shield and obviously doesn’t need to train.  Yondu, while in the room with the rest of the Guardians, is not there mentally as he is still in full-on emo-mode.  Instead of making Yondu work though it and stop being a big baby, Vance suggests that everyone takes a break (hence the title of “Down Time” for this issue). 

                During that downtime, Martinex is going to use it to not be the leader of the Guardians anymore.  He first starts by asking Vance if he will assume the mantle of leadership (he won’t) and we will find that this is something that basically consumes Martinex for a long time.  After Martinex is rebuffed by Vance, we peek in on The Stark (yes, apparently Valentino is going to try and milk these villains for everything they’re worth).  We get to see Taserface getting his ass kicked as part of his punishment for losing to the Guardians over and over again, and find out that he is destined for greater things than just getting his ass kicked.  Once that fun is over, we switch back over to the Guardians and see Nikki taking a soak in a tub of water.  Of course, being a resident of Mercury and having skin that is hot to the touch creates strategically placed bubbles and steam so we can keep this comic well within the framework of the Comics Code (remember them, when they regulated stuff like language and gore, and basically anything you would find in a Mark Millar comic book).  She has a heart to heart with Charlie, who is still in love with her, even though she’s got the “hots” (get it) for Firelord.  The fact that she attends this conversation in the nude doesn’t help matters, I’m sure.

                After more soul-searching by Martinex and brief stop-off to see what Starhawk is up to, we find out that something is wrong with the ship.  It lurches to a halt, throwing everyone off balance.  Everyone goes to check out the disturbance (and we get Martinex trying to give up leadership to Charlie-27 as well) only to find that it’s Yondu trying to take command of the ship so he can find Photon, the last remaining female of his race, so that they can repopulate the universe.  The Guardians dispatch of their teammate very easily (apparently the only way the Guardians can win convincingly is if they fight one of their own) and send him to his room (I shit you not). 

                We then peek in on Vance, not wearing his containment suit because apparently Martinex built him a room that mimics his suit’s ability to ward off decomposition of his 2000 year old skin.  As he’s lounging around naked, Aleta comes in and says that she wants to be an item (of course she starts out by talking about Captain America, but all that does is ensure that Vance has a stiffy before she mentions those two hooking up).  Vance questions the fact that she is still married to Starhawk, but apparently in Aleta’s society, a woman can just call off a marriage at her whim so she’s free and clear.  Vance is still overly cautious and says that he “wants to take it slow”, which is usually code word for “I don’t want you but if it will prevent you from killing me with your light powers I’ll lead you on for a bit”.

                As a slight aside, we peek in on Malevolence bitching to her father about the kid she was bitching about last issue.  This is just more foreshadowing for something many issues down the road, so we won’t spend too much time on it here.

                Back to the Guardians’ ship, Yondu isn’t happy being on time out, so he uses his teleportation badge to escape to a mini ship that he plans on piloting away so he can find his “lady-love”.  Starhawk shows up to talk some sense into him and Yondu wants none of that, going from weepy emo to full-on rage attack.  Starhawk subdues him and basically gets him to chill out through the power of meditation and self reflection.  As the rest of the Guardians show up to help, we find that they have finally found the planet they were looking for, the one harboring the last colony of earthmen.  They send a hailing frequency to the planet, hoping for a warm welcome, but all they get is the wrath of an angry, super 90s, Wolverine–looking lady, who is apparently the ruler of this planet.

                Next, the “World of Mutants” storyline begins and we meet Rancor (that evil semi-Wolverine girl) and the rest of her mutants.  Will the Guardians be warmly received, but more importantly, will Rancor refer to everyone as “Bub”?  Tune in next time to find out.

Safe Passage Please

Raise your hand if you saw this coming...

All of you?  Really?

Well, far be it for me to disappoint.