First,
let’s address the title which is in direct reference to the wild goose chase of
information that the producers of Hell’s
Kitchen lead us on every single week.
Last week, we were led to believe that the blue team would be sabotaged
by skinny black girl and that Ramsay would be losing an eyebrow or something
along those lines in this episode.
Neither of these scenarios came true this week. There wasn’t even a hint of sabotage by
skinny black girl and Ramsay, while he did get splashed by a little hot oil
when he was putting out a grease fire didn’t even come close to the injury that
was anticipated coming out of last week’s promo. In fact when we hear someone say “medic” in
the promo it is not in relation to Ramsay at all (we’ll get to that). I don’t like the deception, especially at
this stage of the game. If someone is
going to watch episode fourteen of Hell’s
Kitchen all the way through to the promo at the end, I have a feeling you
don’t have to lie to them to get them to come back the following week. They’ll probably be there anyway.
Aside from the deception, this was
a pretty standard Hell’s Kitchen
episode. We were treated to the return
of the cooking relay challenge where the teams had to cook three dishes in 30
minutes. Sounds easy enough, right? Well only one chef from each team was allowed
in the kitchen at any one time and they only had five minutes to work before
they had to “pass the baton” to the next chef.
The chefs had to cook standard Hell’s Kitchen dishes including rack of
lamb, roast chicken and halibut. This is not an easy challenge at all, and it’s
not supposed to be, but these chefs make it worse because the two big driving
forces behind this challenge, communication and teamwork, have not been the
forte of these chefs all season long. Because
of that, we get disastrous results from both kitchens. The red kitchen provides a good piece of lamb
with raw and gross garnish, burnt halibut, and no chicken dish. They don’t have enough time to plate it, so when
Ramsay calls for the chicken dishes he receives an empty plate from the red
kitchen. The blue team is able to plate
all of their dishes but the lamb is completely raw (however the garnish is
good). The halibut is nicely cooked, and
surprisingly so is the chicken. The blue
team wins the challenge.
Let me say that again because you
haven’t heard it but one other time this season…the blue team wins the
challenge!
The blue team gets a ride in a
helicopter over Los Angeles as well as sample some expensive cuisine, while the
red team gets to move potatoes off the truck and then peel them, while also
setting up both kitchens for that evening’s dinner service. This is where the “medic” came in. Mixed up Cyndi, who is not a little girl by
any stretch of the imagination, can’t catch her breath after moving boxes upon
boxes of potatoes. She is administered
oxygen and seems to be fine after a few minutes of the treatment. Unfortunately this messes with her a little
bit as she can’t get out of her own way once dinner service starts. The usually sure-handed chef keeps making
silly mistakes and service for the red kitchen begins to get bogged down. Meanwhile, appetizers are flying out of the
blue kitchen. Of course, all that momentum
comes to a screeching halt when loud guy fires up the meat station (didn’t they
learn anything last week?) and he promptly stops communicating. And by that, I don’t mean he just gets
quieter, or misses a ticket every now and then in terms of
acknowledgement. He shuts down
completely, not saying a word. I can
understand getting in a zone when you have a task to complete, but working in
this environment requires a little more communication than what he is
producing. His level of failure in this
episode is nowhere near what it was in the last episode, but it is still
apparent that he is the weakest link left in the competition, regardless of
what he thinks.
Despite the issues in the kitchens,
both teams completed their dinner services and are declared winners. Of course that doesn’t mean jack because they
still have to put someone up for elimination.
From the blue team, the choice is simple, loud guy has distinguished
himself as terrible and the only reason he has made it this far is that he was
a little less terrible than everyone else.
The red team has a harder time.
They eventually pick mixed up Cyndi, but Ramsay asks them to clarify
their choice. At this point they each
get an individual vote to see where loyalties lie. Mixed up Cyndi picks squeaky voice, squeaky
voice picks blonde girl and blonde girl picks mixed up Cyndi as elimination
fodder. Because no one can agree, Ramsay
asks skinny black girl to weigh in, as she worked with all three members of the
red team for the majority of the competition.
She picks blonde girl (good choice) and Ramsay calls both blonde girl
and loud guy up. He states that he will
only be giving out four of the coveted black jackets this year before he sends
loud guy off into the night. Loud guy,
upon his exit, states that if Ramsay ever needs him, all he has to do is
call. Yup, keep waiting by your phone.
Ramsay doesn’t send blonde girl
home (though I expected it, it would be a shock to see a double elimination
after a successful dinner service) but does hold on to the black jackets saying
that there was something else the chefs needed to do before they earned
them. Of course, blonde girl takes the
fact that she is not sent home as confirmation that not only does Ramsay want
her in the competition, but probably (in her deluded mind at least) that he
wants to impregnate her with his angry little Ramsay-spawn (which,
coincidentally, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they claw their way
out of the womb all Alien-esque). She refuses to see the fact that Ramsay kept
asking people for nominations instead of putting mixed up Cyndi on the chopping
block, only stopping when blonde girl was standing in front of him. Delusion is a funny thing.
Next week something happens, I won’t
say because I don’t even pay attention to the previews anymore so I have no
idea, but whatever the preview said was probably blown way out of proportion.
See you next week!
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