When
last we left the Guardians, they were blown out of the sky by the Stark
mothership. Of course, Strahawk,
everyone’s favorite sketchy teammate got back just in time to see the damage
done, but in no time to help. What he
did do (but failed to mention to his teammates at the time) was fly out to deep
space and fire off a distress beacon to… you guessed it…Firelord. If you have been with us for the last few
weeks you will have seen that Firelord has made spot appearances in this book
quite a few times, just without actually doing anything. Apparently, that’s all been building up to
this as he is here for the express purpose of kicking some Stark ass. Before Firelord can blow up the Stark ship
though, Starhawk stops him and tells him to go help the inhabitants of the
planet below while Starhawk deals with the mothership himself. 
We then
head down to the surface of the planet and find…The Guardians of the
Galaxy! They have survived, teleporting
down to the surface of the planet just in time (though not in time for their
hostage to survive as the field leader for the Stark strike force that they
captured in last issue is killed by shrapnel from the exploding ship (either
that or she is killed by a convenient plot device as Valentino no longer needs
her around, but I’ll let you decide).
The Guardians win pretty handily against the remaining Stark on the surface
of the planet. Of course, right on
schedule is our good friend Taserface, showing up yet again to get his ass
kicked by the Guardians. He has been
knocked out by one hit each of the last two issues. Will he be the same one-punch chump this time
around? Not really! He actually puts up a good fight, expending a
lot of energy trying to take the Guardians down. Of course, then Firelord shows up and kicks
his ass. This guy just can’t win.
Now, we
are whisked away and reintroduced to Force, the team of super-somethings that
are also looking for the fabled shield of Captain America. This time around, we actually get a little
more of an insight into Force, who they are, what their powers are, etc. While
the name of the super group is horrible (seriously, that’s the best we
could do?) the individual members of said super group are actually well thought
out characters with interesting powers.
Not-surprisingly, they are doing so much better in terms of finding
Captain America’s shield than the Guardians are. In fact, we catch up with Force right as they
are finding the last clue as to the whereabouts of said artifact.
That
will have to wait until next time as the Guardians (and Firelord) have stripped
The Stark of all of their technology and reduced them to just “normal”
aliens. The Guardians head off and board
their new ship (the Stark ship that Starhawk apparently cleaned of all Stark
inhabitants and repurposed for Guardians usage.
This shows why Starhawk didn’t want Firelord to blow up the ship,
apparently being the “one who knows” does come with some perks after all. As the Guardians and Firelord head up to the
ship, we see two things develop. One, is
the fact that Taserface is STILL ALIVE!
This guy has taken quite a few lickings and kept right on ticking, so
much so that he is vowing to have his revenge on the Guardians. We also see Nikki, the Mercurian Guardian
developing a bit of a crush on Firelord, even though the guy that she is either
in a relationship or at least heavily flirting with, Charlie-27, is right
there, witnessing the whole thing unfold.
Maybe girls from Mercury are just slutty, I don’t know.
Apparently
Nikki isn’t the only one with a crush on Firelord as Vance Astro offers him
membership in the Guardians. Firelord
declines both Vance’s offer and that of Nikki, who states that she can make him
“happy” (which I think we all know what she means). He is now the protector of the galaxy, what
with the Silver Surfer apparently hanging up his surfboard. Firelord is going to wait for any Stark
reinforcements and kick their ass, which begs the question, why would he even
consider being on the team anyway? He is
way more powerful than anyone else on the Guardians (save maybe Starhawk, but
he’s just a giant douche) so what, is Firelord the giant flaming “get out of
jail free card” in case the other members get in over their head? I have a feeling they’ll be calling on him
quite a bit as they move forward. We end
this issue with Aleta (remember her, she hasn’t done anything this issue at all)
naming their new ship the “Captain America II” in honor of Vance’s old ship the
“Captain America” and the shield that they are looking for. While that’s pretty lame, it’s still better
than calling it “ship” (I’m looking at you 1980s X-Factor).
Next
issue we finally get to see more of Force than just a couple pages, will the
Guardians run screaming to Firelord to pull their asses out of
the…ahem…fire? We’ll see.
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