When
last we left our intrepid heroes, they had just received a distress signal from
Firelord, everyone’s favorite flame-tressed former herald of Galactus. He’s apparently come across a force (not the
Force, just a force) that he can’t handle on his own. We are treated to this first hand because as
issue twelve opens Firelord is getting his ass handed to him by Overkill, who
used to be Taserface. Obviously this guy
is just never going to have a name that doesn’t scream 90s comic books
regardless of how many times he is reincarnated. 
First
things first, the Guardians have to deal with a stowaway on their ship. It’s Replica!
Remember her? The girl that from
the Mutant world that can change her shape?
Apparently she changed into a bug and snuck on the ship, only to be
found by Yondu (who took time away from self-pity apparently). She wants to be a member of the team because,
well, her home was blown up and devoured by the Phoenix force and she probably
doesn’t want to live on a computer world run by the Vision from the
Avengers. While everyone else seems okay
with it, at least on a trial basis, Nikki, flips her shit. It must be a girl thing, but she doesn’t
trust her. This looks to be another one
of those slow burns that Valentino is so good at cultivating. Let’s hope this one pays off.
Back to
Firelord, who is still getting his ass kicked while the rest of the Stark watch
from a cloaked ship (some kind of strange fight club/snuff film fetish thing
going on with these gross purple aliens apparently). The Guardians show up, minus Replica, who is
left on the ship (much to the chagrin of Nikki who has gone into full on
passive aggressive pissy teenager mode).
Overkill seems to like the idea that the Guardians are coming to rescue
Firelord, obviously to get them back for the indignity of knocking him out with
one punch every appearance that he makes
in the book. Well Taserface is back and
better than ever in the guise of Overkill and he ‘s not messing around anymore
apparently, as is evidenced by the fact that he handles the Guardians pretty
easily. Seriously, every attack that
they throw at him is rebuffed.
Out of
nowhere Starhawk, the living embodiment of Deus Ex Machina, shows up and grabs
the downed Firelord, flying him into the nearest star. Nikki, being apparently the dumbest member of
the Guardians, thinks that this will kill him, because he’s not made of fire or
anything like that. Nikki is quickly
devolving into the worst character in the book.
We cut to a planet in the solar system in which the Guardians are
visiting and see a news report about the solar flare (from Firelord entering
the star) and then see that that this planet is made up of members of the
Universal Church of Truth (a major player in Jim Starlin’s Warlock books). This is just another setup, we’ll get back to
them in a minute. Right now we have to
get back to Replica and the Guardians’ ship, where one of the Stark has snuck
onboard to plant a bomb. Replica changes
into a monster and attacks the Stark, but not before the bomb has been
planted. The Stark teleports out of
there and we get back to Firelord who has not died (duh) and is actually fully
replenished in terms of his power (naturally).
Everyone surrounds Overkill ad is ready to take him out (and presumably
send him to Image Comics, where his name belongs) but the Stark teleports their
strongest warrior out of harm’s way.
Apparently it was all a big ruse to get a bomb on board the Guardians’
ship (which seems a little far-sighted for the likes of the Stark, but
okay). 
We cut
back to the Guardians and Firelord is called away by Eon to come do his bidding
so he must say goodbye to Nikki, which sends her into even more of a whiny
teenager mode until Charlie gives her a fire-flower (not the kind from Mario
Brothers) and tells her it’s from Firelord (it’s not) to get her to chill the
fuck out (she’s the worst).
Next
issue, it’s Ghost Rider…because Overkill wasn’t 90s enough.
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