After a
quick recap of the last couple issues we get a glimpse at Starhawk, in his new
ultra-cool black getup flying through the air.
Once we finish with those pleasantries it is right back to the fight
between the Guardians and Rancor’s mutants.
Charlie hits Blockade, so to get him back, Blockade uses his mutant
power and grows to a huge size, well past where Charlie would be able to handle…and
then we move on to someone else.
Blockade could easily be crushing Charlie right now, but we’ll never
know. Instead we are peeking in on Nikki
as she is riding around on her flying scooter and shooting at Batwing. Next we get some creepy talk from Talon as he
tries to hit on two of the mutant women.
And I finally realize who he reminds me of…Gambit! He’s like a fuzzy, prehensile-tailed Gambit. Anyway, Yondi is now going crazy on
Shaddo. He offers up a creepy smile and
a threat and then we cut away to Vance fighting Rancor. Both Aleta and Starhawk (now sharing the same
body and apparently able to communicate with one another through the magic of
comic books) are stunned at the fact that Vance is now out of his containment
suit.
Before
we can get further into it we need a brief interlude, which sees Galactus’ ship
floating through space as he bemoans the fact that he is so hungry. This guy is whining like he should have a
Sally Struthers infomercial and decides that he will break his long ago promise
to Reed Richards and actually come back and destroy Earth. That’s a pretty cataclysmic showdown, one fit
for an anniversary issue for sure.
Our
next interlude deals with a creepy blob monster and Tokka from the second Ninja
Turtles movie escaping a prison, only to be picked up by a mysterious character
(presumably the same mysterious character that broke the lizard guy out of
prison last issue.
After a
brief interlude on Earth we head back to space where the Protégé calls off the
search for Starhawk that he began many issues ago, but what’s this, it’s not
the Protégé at all, it’s Replica doing her Replica-thing. Unfortunately Malevolence sees this and it
foreshadows some bad stuff going down in the coming issues. So basically, in the span of four pages,
Valentino has set up probably another six months worth of stories, and this one
isn’t even over yet.
We head
back to Earth just in time to see Talon say “Let’s Party” like the giant douche
that he is and shoot his claw-bullet things. We finally get some resolution all around as
we see that Charlie punches Blockade (which is apparently the easiest way to
get out from under his increasing bulk), Yondu is still hell-bent on stabbing
Shaddo and Nikki shoots Rancor as she lunges for Vance, leaving her wide open
for Batwing to, yet again, shoot her hover-scooter thing out from under
her. But who’s this to the rescue? Why Starhawk of course.
We make
a quick pit-stop with the Comandeers who, despite the fact that they knew about
the mutants as well, decided to stay behind and let the Guardians handle things
by themselves, are dealing with some emotional issues. 
Back to
the action, Starhawk saves Nikki, who promptly punches him in the face. This prompts Aleta to speak through Starhawk
and tell her to cool her shit, which freaks Vance right out because his lady
love is now a dude. Oh, and the whole
time this is going on, there are still the mutants to deal with. Instead of taking out the Guardians while
they have the chance though, they are just standing around until they try and
convince Starhawk to join them. This
doesn’t work and we get some kind of cryptic message from Starhawk’s floating
head on the last page.
Next
Issue: More floating head fun?
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