We go
from my favorite, and one of the best covers in the series, to one of the
worst. The choice of characters, aside
from Thor’s kid he kind of had to be there, is laughable. The poses are just that, poses, hardly
natural at all. And the art itself is
Liefeld-tastic, especially on Woden, Thor’s kid. I also love how everything on the cover has
to have a tm or a r symbol next to it. Nothing ruins the design of something quicker
than legalese. How about the inside
though, is that any better?
Well,
it’s still drawn by Dale Eaglesham, so there’s that. I don’t particularly care for his work in
general, but aside from that, let’s see how it goes. We open on Woden, son of Thor, who has
apparently also inherited Thor’s hammer.
Thor’s hammer, if you remember, can only be picked up by someone that is
deemed worthy or holding said hammer.
Apparently Woden is now worthy, and he wastes no time in putting that
hammer to use in attacking Loki and Composite.
While Woden handles the big guns, the rest of the Guardians get to work
on dealing with the rest of the Inhumans.
In order to contain the defeated Inhumans, Talon creates a “mystic
bubble” which is basically a forcefield jail cell, which raises the question…where
the hell has that power been all along?
He could have used that two issues ago and the Inhumans would not have
been an issue. Oh comics, you’re so
silly.
We now
take a slight detour to the home of The Remora where Aleta and Heimdall are
captured. They both share a romantic
moment, which is odd considering their current predicament. The Remora busts in on them and mocks them
which posses Aleta off so much that she kicks his ass. Apparently you should never disrupt Aleta’s
booty-call, lesson learned. Aleta and
Heimdall are now free and it seems like that was a lot of work to go through
just to sideline your most powerful character so it can appear the Guardians
are in danger, but what do I know.
Back in
Asgard, Charlie saves Nikki from Phobia as everyone else watches Woden and Loki
fight overhead. They are not the only
people interested in Woden’s success though as Fat Thor looks on. He gets a bit of a pep-talk from Odin, which
begs the questions, where the hell has Odin been through all of this? He’s no slouch himself and, with help,
probably could have disposed of Loki, or at the very least prevented the
ransacking of his city. Oh, right, it’s
comics. 
Now we
switch over to Malevolence’s sex face.
Seriously. I’m pretty sure
Eaglesham was looking at some form of porn when he was drawing this. It’s even creepier that she has this face on
while she’s calling out to her father Mephisto.
I don’t even want to begin ascribing any kind motivations or extra
thought to that. Regardless, her sexy
call apparently worked as she can now sense her father’s presence, which isn’t
creepy in the slightest.
We make
another short detour back to the planet of The Remora to wrap up that silly
storyline and prompt us to ask why this was even a thing yet again.
Back to
Asgard, Loki and Woden are still fighting and just as Loki seems to get the
upper hand, here comes Aleta to save the day.
So not only was she able to complete whatever silly business she had on
the planet of The Remora, but she was able to get all the way back to Asgard in
time to save the day…sure. This comic is
becoming a bit silly when it comes to its use of the Aleta, and honestly if
Gallagher can’t find a way to use her effectively (and believe me, he hasn’t
shown he’s capable of doing that yet) then the whole series will slip even
further downhill.
Thor,
Woden and Odin all come together and banish Loki and the Inhumans to the Black
Canyon (is that the Asgardian version of the Phantom Zone? I assume so.)
Everyone is reunited and happy, except for Vance because he sees
Heimdall kiss Aleta on the hand. He gets
all butt-hurt about it even though those two haven’t really been an “item” for
a long time. Just as he is getting pissy
and telling everyone to get back to the ship, Aleta jumps in, says no, and
transports them at the speed of light to…somewhere.
Next issue: find out where they were transported and whether
Vance can stop being a little girl and let Aleta go.
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