If you
will remember, last issue ended with Talon becoming a werewolf version of
himself. We are not yet sure how this
affected his personality though (a personality that was shitty at best
anyway). One thing we do know is that
that transformation set off alarm bells that have the rest of the Guardians
awoken from their slumber and running to see what the problem is. The choice of sleep attire is odd for the
Guardians as Yondu wears a skirt and boots, Yellowjacket wears a long button
down t-shirt and what look like high heels, and Nikki wears a half shirt, bunny
slippers and the weirdest looking underwear I have ever seen (are they really
supposed to go that high?)
They
get to the medbay (I’m assuming that’s where Talon is) in time to see Talon
throw Cuchulain through the wall. Talon
comes strolling out of the hole in the wall and is immediately reprimanded by
Vance, who he proceeds to backhand, something we’ve all wanted to do to Vance
for the better part of a year. Yondu
breaks up the squabble and removes Talon from the room before any more damage
can be done.
It’s
new costume time! Aleta couldn’t let
Talon have all the fun when it came to a new costume, so she decided to get one
of her own. Unfortunately, Aleta’s
fashion sense is right in line with her taste in boyfriends as her new costume
is silly and downright ugly. I like that
Gallagher has given her the new suit because the black suit she had before
reminds her too much of the containment suit that Vance wears. This is a sound reason for changing costumes
that most heroes rarely possess. The
fact that she comes right out and says that to Vance shows a distinct lack of
tact, however it seems like all of the characters that Gallagher writes have
that trait, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
Back on
Stockade, Charlie has got his ass kicked by Tork and his jailers, and is near
death. Luckily, the psychopath that is
his roommate, Diablo, has something for Charlie that will apparently make him
“good as new”. We stay on Stockade as
the warden of the prison planet speaks to the Guardians. They try to get Charlie released, stating
that he is not Ripjak. The warden agrees
to meet with a delegation of the Guardians, as long as there are no women
involved (apparently no women are allowed on Stockade because Gallagher already
wrote one rape scene and doesn’t feel like writing another). Vance and Cuchulain head down to Stockade
while the women handle things on the ship, including manning the torpedoes in
case something goes wrong down on the prison planet (what could go wrong,
seriously?)
We
check in on Talon who is resisting any attempt by Yondu to tame the savage
beast. Yellowjacket attempts to give
Talon’s amulet back to him, but Krugarr, the Sorcerer Supreme will not allow
it. He takes the amulet and knocks Talon
out in the process, claiming that Talon is no longer “worthy” (kind of a
Thor-Mjolnir relationship I guess).
Yellowjacket then uses her Pym particles to shrink Talon down to a more
manageable size.
We cut
to Nikki in the torpedo bay, who is visited by the mutant Sidestep. She tells Nikki about how she is becoming
disenchanted with Rancor’s rule and she offers a clue to help Nikki down the
road in the form of a riddle. “Think of
the scar” she says. It’s an ominous
warning that you can’t really make much out of at this point, but will be
revealed in due time I’m sure. She then
disappears.
On
Stockade, Vance and Cuchulain are treated to the evidence that the Warden has
of Charlie’s guilt, including a video and dna evidence. Cuchulain decides he’s going to start a fight
in the face of overwhelming evidence, one that spills out into the halls as
more prison guards join the fracas. The
warden decides to use his backup plan, to unleash Drax the Destroyer on
Cuchulain. How does he do this, you ask? By turning off Drax’s cartoons of
course!
Next Issue: Drax vs. Cuchulain, and the winner gets to watch
Ren and Stimpy (this was the 90’s after all)!
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