Thursday, December 11, 2014

Not so New Comic Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1991) #57

                So, at the end of the last issue, we found out that the Guardians are basically responsible for the suffering of millions of people, no not the readers of their comic, the population of a planet that has been hit by a plague.  Apparently Ripjak, the supposed interstellar serial killer is actually an interstellar mercy killer, snuffing the lives of the afflicted before they can suffer that same fate to the diseases ravaging their world. 

                Of course this means nothing to the Guardians who continue to attack Ripjak until Yondu (again, the only Guardian worth a damn) forces them to stop.  Of course this is a perfect time for Talon to start fighting with Yondu, because Vance was busy I guess?  Anyway, the fighting stops when Ripjak tells his origin to the guardians, beyond what they already know I guess.  He explained how he came to be the Kevorkian of the future and finally Vance realizes that Bubonicus is the true villain here (remember Bubonicus from that one issue that featured the Galactic Guardians?)  Apparently Martinex told Vance about him and even uploaded some info to Icarus, but no one on the Guardians does their homework, so no one knew of him.  Vance, trying to make up for being a dumbass and missing the correlation, is willing to let Ripjak aboard Icarus in order to learn more about Bubonicus, which pisses off Talon (of course). 

                We now take a break and head out to deep space where Starhawk has found Hollywood.  Starhawk wants to know about his parents, but Hollywood doesn’t want any part of helping him, so of course, in grand Guardians of the Galaxy tradition, they fight.  Of course, while they fight, they also talk so when they eventually stop pummeling eachother they help eachother.  I am not sure whether West is unable to draw two people having a normal conversation or whether Gallagher refuses to write that.  They seriously spent three pages beating eachother up in order to have a conversation.  That’s lazy.  In the end, Hollywood suggests that Starhawk find the Silver Surfer, that he may be able to help find Starhawk’s parents, or at least point him in a direction to get the search started, and they part company.  Starhawk then leaves Hollywood with the chunk of info that “Doom lies beneath his dome”.  If you remember, Hollywood has been searching frantically all over the universe for Doctor Doom (or Wolver-Doom as he is now known) and it appears that he was in the same spot the whole time.  Great detective work Hollywood. 

                Back on the ship, everyone is finally looking at the info on Bubonicus (which, by the way, comes in the form of a hologram and most likely a narration, so they didn’t even have to read about him, super laaaaazy).  They learn some more about Bubonicus, even calling up Martinex for his input (weren’t he and Vance mad at eachother last issue?) and they all start to argue about the validity of a plan that involves teaming up with their enemy to fight a greater enemy (they’ve apparently never read a Marvel comic) until out of nowhere, who shows up but the High-freaking-Evolutionary!


                Next Issue: It’s High-Evolutionary hijinks as we finish up this story-arc.

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