That's All I Can Think About

Isn't that how it is though?  Once you get boobs in your head you can't get them out.

Mmmm, Meat Paste

Who doesn't want a little meat paste for dinner?

Not So New Comic Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1991) #18

                    I was never a huge fan of the original Punisher from the regular Marvel Universe.  He just never appealed to me.  How would I fare with a gang of Punishers?  Let’s see.

                The member of the Punishers that had Vance in his sights at the end of the last issue (the one with the douchey reverse Mohawk) gets a shot off, but it’s not as true as he would have liked because of a claw that comes flying in to hit the shooter right across the face.  Vance still gets shot in the head though, which is not only a bad thing in general, but it also puts a hole in his containment suit, exposing his skin to the air.  The rest of the Guardians, along with the Comandeers, spring into action to bring down the Punishers while Hollywood takes Vance back to the base to receive some medical attention.  Charlie rallies the troops which apparently rallies the loins of Belle, one of the Comandeers.  She gets all googly- eyed at him and his big gun (no really, it’s an actual gun).  A gun that he use to straight up demolish a building that the Punishers are all standing on.  The head of the Punisher organization, the one with the strange skull painting on his face, has decided to enter the fray, along with all of the other members of his gang, so this fight is about to get really one-sided. 

                At that moment we head to the planet Courg (the planet that the Guardians were on in the first few issues as they fought The Stark).  Martinex has gone back to make sure everything is kosher since they last saw the dog-people of Courg.  One of the Courgians survived and now wants revege on Martinex though, but we won’t see how that ends until next issue.

                Right now, we have to head back and watch Yondu go nuts.  He went from an emo baby to getting a new hand and finally living up to his warrior status.  In fact, he straight up chops a guy’s head off (off panel of course).  This is the Yondu that we should be seeing in this comic, not the one that cries because the girl he likes doesn’t like him back.

                After a brief few panels where Nikki rides a floating scooter, we see Talon (a horrible character that I’m sure was brought in to complete the “snarky team member with claws” requirement for a ‘90’s super team) go to visit Krugar (remember him from the Annual?  He’s the new Dr. Strange) in order to get him to heal Vance. 

               

Back to the action, the Guardians sure look like they are about to win until the Punisher Tank shows up.  This series is supposed to be set in the thirty-first century but the tank sure looks like something out of Liefeld’s wet dream.  Guns spikes and a giant skull, all requisite pieces to a truly 90’s spectacle.  Charlie tries to shoot it with his giant gun to no avail.   Baqck in the base, Vance is resting in a containment unit when Krugar shows up to help him and when we head back to the battle we finally get to see the full reveal of Talon.  He’s about as douchey as you would expect.

Next Issue:  More Talon than you could ever want.  Trust me, just what we’ve seen so far is enough for me.  

Oooo, Big Threat

When in doubt, always threaten someone with a hose.  If you learn nothing else from reading this strip, you've got that.

Masochist Music Review - Brides of Destruction: Runaway Brides

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Runaway Brides

Artist:  Brides of Destruction

Release Date: September, 2005

Why you bought it:  Being a Motley Crue fan I was intrigued by the initial release from Brides of Destruction.  Even though Nikki Sixx left after that album and subsequent tour, I thought that maybe, just maybe, Tracii Guns could keep the momentum going and make a good sophomore album.  After hearing Brides of Destruction, it also got me into LA Guns so I had my hopes up based on the fact that they were a solid band as well.

First impressions:  It didn’t really do it for me like the first album did.  The first album had the right mix of LA sleaze, grunge and pop, while this album didn’t really fire on all of those cylinders. This was a dirtier sounding record, much like American Hardcore from the dark period of LA Guns that didn’t feature Phil Lewis on vocals.  It wasn’t terrible, it just lacked a certain polish that came from having Nikki Sixx as your primary songwriter.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I like the guitar work by Guns, in particular the solo on “Never Say Never”.  Being so far removed from listening to Here Come the Brides (their debut album) I am able to listen to Runaway Brides as its own entity, without feeling the need to compare it to its predecessor.  That doesn’t, however, make it a great album.  It’s okay, but the flaws are glaring even without the comparison.  The vocals are relatively weak and the music, save for the way-too-infrequent guitar solos, is not nearly as polished as I expected or hoped it would be.

Any saving grace?:    It’s not a horrible album, and I don’t skip the tracks when they come up on my playlist, but I don’t frequently revisit the album unless it’s for something like this. 

Was it worth the purchase?: At a discounted price, sure.  Not at full price though.

You Say Solution, I Say Thee Nay

That's probably a good position to take in this instance.

Another Slight Problem

There's a slight chance Shrimpy didn't think this all the way through.