In the
future, Ghost Rider rides a flaming space motorcycle with pointy teeth. The good news is that he is not Nic Cage, so
you’ll have to take the good with the bad on that one.
This
issue opens up on two staples of Guardians comics (it’s only been thirteen
issues and we have Guardians staples!) training and pathos! The focus of this edition of whiny girls with
super powers is Vance Astro (naturally) who is still complaining about not
being able to live up to the example Captain America set. Pay attention to the fact that Captain
America has been dead for a thousand years and no one remembers him except for
Vance. He could literally do anything he
wanted, say that’s what Cap would do, and no one would really have a reference
point to call him out on it. Is that
what he does though? Nope. He lives up to his own ideal of his idol, and
we get to read the whiny exposition when he can’t throw the shield just like
Cap used to.
While
Vance is doing this, Nikki and Charlie are running diagnostics on the ship,
trying to find out where the bomb planted by the Stark in the last issue is
located. You would think that everyone
would be lending a hand in this endeavor since, you know, a bomb is on board,
but I guess that only requires two people.
Nikki lets Charlie know that she realizes that he gave her the fire
flower (not from Mario Brothers) last issue and that it was a sweet
gesture. Of course that doesn’t mean
anything in terms of those two reconciling, much to his chagrin, but it is
still a better moment than Vance’s “Aw man, I can’t throw the shield just like
Cap used to, I’m a failure!”
The
action shifts to Starhawk and Aleta as they share their own moment. Starhawk is apparently diverging quite a bit
from his predestined timeline and the split from Aleta is causing him to phase
out of reality (much like Marty McFly in Back to the Future I assume). In a moment of pure creepiness Starhawk then
talks about reclaiming Aleta (he says this to himself obviously) as if she was
a lost Pokemon. We cut from there and
just to bring things back to normal, get to peek in on Yondu being super-emo
yet again. Thanks Yondu, good talk.
We cut
back to Charlie and Nikki, who are still the only ones on the ship doing any
work and see that they have found the bomb.
It’s in the gym, which just so happens to be where Vance is. Aleta comes in to tell him that Starhawk has
given her his blessing to go bang the old man in the containment suit and
then…Ka-Boom. The bomb explodes.
Finally,
halfway through the comic we get what we were promised on the cover…Ghost
Rider! This iteration of the flaming
skull is fighting the Universal Church of Truth (while hiding amongst them in
his mortal guise of a priest). He thinks
that the Guardians’ ship is reinforcements for the Church of Truth, so he sets
off on his flying flaming motorcycle to intercept them before they can do any
damage.
Hold
up, it’s been awhile since we heard from Force, so in Valentino’s grand
tradition of the slow burn, we get a page devoted to Brahl striking a deal with
Malevolence (I’m assuming) so that he can get revenge on the Guardians…for
beating Force earlier? Maybe? I’m not really sure. Force beat the Guardians but the only reason
Vance got the shield that they were fighting over was because he understood it
was just a symbol and not something that had any tangible powers. Maybe the Guardians did something to Brahl
without knowing it? I guess we’ll have
to wait to find out.
Cut
back to the ship. Everyone is worried
about Vance but he comes floating back into view as Aleta encased them both in
a light bubble when the explosion hit, saving them from the blast. As they go about starting to repair the
damage done to the ship, they see something coming on their radar, it’s Ghost
Rider. Starhawk flies out to confront
him and explain to him that he is mistaken about the intent of those on board
the ship. Ghost Rider won’t have any of
that because apparently the Spirit of Vengeance doesn’t listen to reason. Ghost Rider dispatches Starhawk by stabbing
him with his bike (no, really) and the rest of the Guardians move into action,
readying their weapons. They blow up his
motorcycle but he reforms it because he can do that. Vance tries to explain that nothing will
really harm him, so Aleta decides that, because aside from Starhawk she’s the
most powerful on the team, she should go talk to him. She said most powerful, not most persuasive,
but maybe her feathered hair will have an effect on the Spirit of
Vengeance. 
We cut
back to Starhawk, who looks to be on fire from Ghost Rider’s bike-stab and he
is rolling around to put out the flames.
I don’t think stop drop and roll really works in the vacuum of space or
on the flames of eternal damnation, but thanks for being a role-model for the
kids. Being stabbed has also had a
different effect on Starhawk as he is no longer “the one who knows” or as he
puts it “I no longer know”. So at least
we won’t have to hear that catchphrase anymore.
Aleta
goes out to talk to Ghost Rider and he somehow decides to listen to her (must
be the feathered hair). Martinex sends
Replica to her room because she is too young to fight Ghost Rider apparently. She turns into a moth and flies off. The Guardians get ready to fight Ghost Rider
until they all realize that they both have the same goal in mind, freeing
people from oppression. However, before
Ghost Rider can utter a “my bad for stabbing one of you guys with my bike”
Replica turns from a moth back into herself and cries about how Ghost Rider is
evil and must be killed. Of course she
is wearing the symbol of the Universal Church of Truth which sends Ghost Rider into
a hissy fit where he basically dooms everyone else. Way to go new girl.
Next
issue we get the fallout from new girl’s tantrum. It’s almost guaranteed at this point that
Aleta and Nikki won’t invite her to the initiation pajama party.
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