This
may be the official downfall of the Guardians of the Galaxy. The inclusion of such a one-note, crap
character like Talon may just be the death-knell for a once promising
franchise. To make that determination we
need to get through the book itself though.
The
first thing we learn in this issue is that even a reverse Mohawk can’t save you
from t he wrath of the boss Punisher and his blue nose of doom. Next we officially meet Talon and learn that
he is a dumb character that seems to be there just to get on the nerves of
people. He’s one of those “teenage”
characters that they tried to shoehorn into comics back in the 80’s and 90’s to
appeal to a younger demographic (much like Jubilee of the X-Men). While Jubilee played more of a background
role, Talon is getting shoved down our throat in the early going, even going so
far as to have him beat Charlie in a fight to show how athletically superior he
is. Yondu breaks up the fight an returns
everyone to their senses.
We
check in on Vance, who was injured last issue and is now under the care of Dr.
Strange, Krugarr and Hollywood.
Back on
the planet Courg, it apparently hasn’t been a good time for the dog people as
The Stark did leave the planet, but they left their dead, which quickly decayed
and released diseases which the people of Courg, having no antibodies or
immunities, quickly succumbed to. Not
only that, but The Stark came back after the Guardians had left in order to
finish what they started. So all the
Guardians did in those first few issues is delay the inevitable. This blows Martinex’s mind, and is actually a
pretty powerful bit of writing, highlighting the total cost of war to the
bystanders and not just the combatants.
Back on
Earth the Guardians are in the sewer, looking for a refinery, the place where
the tv signal is broadcast I believe.
Yes, after all of this, the Guardians are still sticking to their
primary mission which is to destroy the televisions that are taking over and
killing the population of Earth.
We
quickly travel to another planet as Valentino sets up the next story arc, which
will feature the return of Rancor and her mutants. She is on a mission and it starts here with
the discovery of an artifact. Of course
being Rancor she kills everyone she comes in contact with.
Back in
the refinery, we’re getting a refresher course as to how television’s
destruction of society went down and Charlie asks the question we all want to
know. So what if they destroy this
refinery. If this is a global epidemic,
won’t destroying one refinery just be a drop in the bucket? The answer, in super convenient terms is
nope, there is only one refinery and it’s the one they are standing in. Apparently the gas emitted is so potent that
only a little bit needs to be used and it can all be made in one place.
We take a quick break and head into
Starhawk’s consciousness where Aleta is struggling to maintain her sense of
self and her sanity before we head back to the refinery and find that the
Badoon, those bastard aliens that were responsible for the formation of the
Guardians in the first place, were behind both the televisions and the bankroll
for the Punishers organization this whole time.
We also find out that Belle, the girl that made googly eyes at Charlie
last issue was a double-agent the whole time.
It looks like the Guardians and Comandeers are outmanned and outgunned
until a mysterious stranger shows up with Hollywood and Krugarr alongside
him. Who is this stranger that is
shrouded in shadow yet carrying Captain America’s shield? We’ll have to wait until next time to find
out.
Next Issue: The only costume design that could be more
90’s than Charlie’s is finally unveiled.
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