Let’s
check in on the thirty-first century superheroes, time displaced into the 90’s
(at least they fit in fashion-wise). Oh
hey, this issue comes complete with guest penciller…Herb Trimpe! You all know my feelings about 1990s Herb
Trimpe, so suffice it to say, the artwork in this issue will be terrible. How’s the story though? Let’s see…
Okay,
so the Guardians go back in time, which means that they have a massive amount
of villains to fight, and because they are not affiliated with any one team,
they can have anyone’s villains, Avengers, X-men, whoever. Who do they get? Doctor freaking Octopus, in all his spandex
glory and a team of retarded misfits that wouldn’t scare Aunt May on her worst
day. Not only that, but Trimpe draws
them just as you would expect, like Rob Liefeld broke his hand and instead of
taking an issue off, just duct taped a pencil to it and kept going.
This
series used to be pretty good, what happened?
One of
the villains is Yellowjacket (not Hank Pym, the girl Yellowjacket) who wants to
be an Avenger but just tagged along with the villains because…she wanted to
belong? I guess? Anyway, because the heroes were all
apparently killed in the beginning of the Infinity War storyline, this
delightful group of villains is hell-bent on attacking the Avengers Mansion and
taking the technology therein for themselves.
This just so happens to be where the Guardians are heading as well (what
a coincidence).
Of
course, before the Guardians can fight Doctor Octopus and his Z-List All Stars,
they have to fight Jarvis with a vacuum cleaner (seriously). Of course that fight ends quickly as a
Dyson’s got nothing on Captain America’s shield. Luckily as soon as they are done there, the
League of Sub-Par Supervillains shows up.
The Guardians start fighting them and with all the jumping and strange
poses Trimpe puts these characters in, it just highlights the fact that the
heads on all of his characters, especially the muscle-bound ones, are two sizes
too small (of course that goes along with the ankles and feet of the characters
which are too small to hold up the massive frames). I know Trimpe was basically just aping a
“house-style” at this point, but damn, this is ridiculous and borderline
unreadable. 
As
everyone is fighting, we get the next entry into the “shit I don’t want to see
from this comic book” in the form of another doppelganger! This one is of Starhawk, hooray!
Just as
we the Guardians have defeated the shitty villain patrol, Doctor Octopus shows
up, triumphantly, with more villains!
These guys aren’t much better than the others, but the Shocker is in
there, so there’s that.
Next
issue: There’s more Z-List supervillains, and more dopplegangers, and more regret
on my part that I’m reviewing this series.
No comments:
Post a Comment