So
what’s better than a comic involving a bunch of characters that aren’t that
appealing to begin with? Doubling those
characters of course! It’s doppelgangers
galore!
Jim
Valentino’s final issue on the book (he would go on to be one of the Image
Comics founders shortly after this, with his book Darkhawk) starts out pretty
crappily. Now, he only offers the plot
on this issue, leaving the scripting to new writer Michael Gallagher, while JJ
Birch takes over the art duties for this issue.
Birch is not as bad as Trimpe, but he’s not that good, as evidenced by
the opening shot of Charlie’s face.
The
battle between the Guardians and the bad guys (Doctor Octopus, Gargantua, Puff
Adder and Shocker) begins and is as underwhelming as you might expect when the
villains are Gargantua and Puff Adder (two guys I had never heard of before
this series). As that battle rages,
another one is going on as well, as Starhawk is fighting his doppelganger. No matter how many times he defeats it
though, it keeps coming back. Aleta, who
is still inside Starhawk in case you forgot, suggests that Starhawk let her take
over the body, therefore not giving the doppelganger anything to absorb (since
that’s the whole reason the doppelganger is there, to absorb his
“double”). Starhawk doesn’t want this to
happen because he knows Aleta will never relinquish control of the body back to
him. 
Back to
the Guardians, and we have an incoming of doppelgangers, of both the heroes and
villains. Of course, that doesn’t matter
as Vance is fighting Puff Adder and utters the single greatest line in comics:
“The name is Major Victory….Remember it when they’re filling out your report in
the emergency room!”
Okay,
are you done laughing? Let’s break down
that statement real quick.
A.
Why would Puff Adder go to the emergency
room? Something tells me that’s not a
place frequented by super-powered villains.
B.
Even if Puff Adder went to the emergency room
(on the off-chance that he wanted to take that risk) what does Major Victory’s
name have to do with anything? When
would that come up in conversation?
Would a doctor, who is treating a dude dressed up like a snake, really
ask him who it was that beat him up?
C.
If Vance Astro hit Puff Adder with a
psychokinetic blast, how would that be treated medically at all, much less in
an emergency room?
Anyway, the rest of the heroes and
villains are fighting their own doppelgangers, but that’s nothing compared to
the struggle within Starhawk. Aleta is
finally taking control, and not a moment too soon as Starhawk is about to lose
to the doppelganger. Aleta wins but not
without apparently sustaining some damage from a mysterious source.
Back to the Guardians, who have now
teamed up with the villains they were just fighting to stop the bigger threat
of the doppelgangers…which they do. Just
like that, the status quo is restored.
As the dust settles, Doctor Octopus wants the villains to attack the
Guardians, even though they are outnumbered, but because the Guardians just
helped those villains survive an attack on their lives, they turn on Doc Ock
instead.
To top things off, Jarvis shows up
with brooms so that everyone can help clean up.
Next issue: They all get jobs as janitors,
or something.
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