Thursday, May 8, 2014

Not So New Comic Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1991) #33

                Well, according to the cover, not only do we get the end of the Badoon battle, but we also get the return of Aleta, meaning she actually beat Starhawk and has reclaimed his body as her own?  Only time and the $1.25 cover price (God bless you early 90’s comics pricing) will tell for sure.

                 We pick up exactly where we left off as the Captain Universe-empowered Badoon is kneeling over Charlie ready to kill him, while Dr. Strange and Vance Astro are arriving on the scene.  Even though this is supposed to be a one n one fight, Vance and Dr. Strange step right in and start to defend Charlie.  Now, You can’t blame Vance or Dr. Strange, as they did not know the arrangement, but surprisingly the king of the Badoon doesn’t attack the Guardians’ ship as promised, which is doubly perplexing when Nikki and Talon join the fight as well.  They are fighting Captain Universe though, a being with all of the power of the…universe?  Right on cue, the Badoon gets right back up and starts to attack the Guardians again.

                We make a quick detour to New York City in the thirty-first century as Retox, the realiteevee-loving gang of miscreants have finally found the complex that the signal was coming from.  Unfortunately for them, Rancor and her mutants are already there.

                Another quick detour takes out into deep space, where Aleta is cradling an infant in her arms.  Now if you don’t know Starhawk’s history, this might confuse you, but the tragedy of Starhawk is that he relives his life over and over again, which means that he eventually returns to the form of an infant and grows up again and again throughout history, always retaining his memories.  The way that Aleta beat him, and assumed control of their shared body, is that she sped up the inevitable and returned him to his infant form sooner than expected.  She then, unceremoniously drops him in a jar and flies off, enjoying her new body.  What happens to Starhawk from there, I have no idea, but it does seem strange that he is now just a baby in a jar.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

                Now we are back on the Badoon homeworld where, in his haste to help, Talon casts a spell that doesn’t work quite as he planned, which basically means that Talon is the Orko of the Guardians.  That’s a great title to have.  The Badoon gears up for a killing blow when all of a sudden Aleta shows up and blasts him.  They start duking it out while the rest of the Guardians stand around and watch, basically making Aleta Carmelo Anthony and the Guardians the rest of the New York Knicks on any given possession. 

                In the most clichéd comic book moment yet, the Guardians realize that with their powers combined they can defeat the Badoon.  They all hit him at once, knocking him out.  Dr. Strange then goes in and removes the Captain Universe energy from the Badoon, turning him into a plain old dirty reptile.  Everyone teleports back to the ship, and Aleta threatens the Badoon king before she joins them.  At the end of that exchange, the Badoon king finds Charlie’s dagger (the one Yondu gave him) and gives some kind of foreshadowy smile.  We’ll see if anything comes of that.
 
                The Guardians realize that they need the help of Martinex if Charlie is to survive, so they set out on a course to find him.  Just as it’s revealed that they may not make it to Martinex in time anyway because Charlie apparently has a massive blood clot in his throat that is choking him, we get a glimpse at the ass of our surprise stowaway.  We’ll have to wait until next time to find out who it is in full.

Next Issue:  We find out who the stowaway is and see if she can help Charlie keep from choking to death.  







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