The Asshole Bracket: Elite Eight

Please note, the italicized text is what that asshole did to garner the title.

Historical Region:

Joseph McCarthy – Labeled individuals as communists back when the “Red Scare” was a big deal.  Got people blackballed from their professions, ruined lives. (5)

vs.

Josef Stalin – General Asshole.  Dictator of the main opponent of the United States and freedom in general (3)

–

Matt-  McCarthy made it by the slimmest of margins over Bernie Madoff’s reign of terror last week, but this is where his ride ends as Stalin has just steamrolled everyone put in front of him.  It makes sense too, as Stalin’s legacy has helped create tense relations between the United States and Russia that exist even today, while McCarthyism, while being a severe black eye after it was all said and done, has faded away aside from a historical reference here and there.  Plus, if there was no Stalin, McCarthy might not have anything to bitch about.

Nik- I think McCarthyism wasn’t a black eye, but a red eye.

        Thank you.

        Also, wow, totally thought Madoff would make it. But Stalin was a big ol’ D. It’s refreshing to see Stalin make it significantly further than Hitler, too. But yeah, Stalin is gonna move on here. McCarthy pales in comparison.

Entertainment Region:

Al Sharpton – Civil unrest profiteering and fingerpointing, a modern day Joseph McCarthy (2)

vs.

Justin Bieber – A shining example of what is wrong with today’s youth (4)

–

Matt-  Bieber did it.  He took down Kanye’s giant ego.  Will he be able to do the same to Al Sharpton’s specific and fine-tuned level of villainy?  I suppose if anyone could do it, Bieber could.  You might even say, he has made me a Bielieber.

Nik- I think I’ve already made my arguments for the later-term abortion that is Bieber.

General Region:

People that use welfare as a job (1)

vs.

People that use civil unrest to loot stores and push their agenda (2)

–

Matt- People that use Welfare as their job is the Josef Stalin of the general region.  I originally had Hitler pegged as the overall number one seed of the tournament, but that was a vast underestimation.  “Welfare” is definitely the 2015 Kentucky Wildcats of this bracket.  It’s not a matter of if they will win, it’s who they will beat to get there.

Nik-  Wow. At this rate I’m seeing Stalin and Welfare, I think making it to the end. Boy was I way off. Welfare on this one, though.

Deceptive Region:

Lance Armstrong – Doping/Lying/Destroying the lives of those that were trying to expose his doping/lying (1)

vs.

Ray Rice – Beat his wife (6)

–

Matt-  Ray Rice dropped the hammer on Paula Deen (and we’ve seen how he beats people he loves, so this must have been especially brutal) and Lance Armstrong cruised through his bout.  Will Armstrong continue to wear the yellow jersey through this leg of Le Tour De Asshole?  I think so.

Nik- I was gonna make a “Live Strong” joke here. Something like “Dick Strong.” But that’s just unsavory. “Douche Strong” (for when regular douches just won’t do.) I dunno. What I’m trying to say is that I think Lance takes Rice for a (bicycle) ride on this one.

Matt- (claps slowly)