Estrogen

So, all this emotion was just a chemical imbalance?  

I guess that makes sense.

Squealer

And you officially know way too much about Sluggy now.

You're welcome

'Tis the Christmas Season

And a very Merry Christmas to all of you out there, even the ones that don't partake in rum balls and spiked eggnog.

Sympathy

They're super absorbent, for Sluggy's "heavy flow" days.

Popcorn Shrimpy

sooooo...that's a yes on the boobs?

That Wasn't in Her Profile

You don't always meet horrible people on internet dating sites, but when you do, oh boy are they the worst.

Misinterpretation

Seriously, who does charity plumbing work at all, much less in the middle of the night?

Revelations

Double bummer indeed.

Flowers

Though he's right, if someone gives you VD, they owe you flowers!

A Nun's Standards

Shrimpy is making a marinara sauce.

You know...just in case you were wondering

Divine Intervention

What kind of venereal disease does Sluggy have?  

Well, that's a mystery even Sherlock Holmes would have trouble figuring out.  

Even to your best friends, do you come right out and tell them you have an STD?  

Is that something friends do?  

The Devil

That's got to be it, right?  That's the only logical explanation.

It Burns

I'd say that this is part of the public service announcement, but if you need to be told to avoid having sex with your dinner, something tells me you can't read what's written here anyway.

Mashed Potatoes

Well, that seems appropriate talk for the holiday season.  

The more you know!

Good Luck Chuck

More Black Friday goodness in our annual series about the American greed holiday. 

That's a No

Never believe a girl if she says she has divine protection as birth control.

The more you know.

Protection

Always use protection, kids!

Touched

Well, this took an odd turn...

The Second Date

Sluggy has obviously spent a little too much time "researching" what convents are supposed to be like. 

First Base

When Wormy can zing you like that, your life choices might need to be reevaluated.

Conversion

If you've spent your life being kind of a dick, Sluggy, it should come as no surprise when people are confused that someone would date you, especially a supposedly "good Christian girl".

You Sir, Are No Tom Jones

To be fair, when I wrote this, Rhianna had just rekindled her relationship with Chris Brown.  

And seriously, Tom Jones is like the Highlander.

What Kind of Sister

Honestly...I'd be more disappointed if it was the first kind of sister.

Mumble Mary Margaret

Waaaaaaaaait, really?  We're going there?

Oh yes, we are going there.

Christian Monopoly

"Hot as Hell" should definitely be a descriptor on a Christian dating website.

Double Meanings

Words to live by.  You heard it here first.

Nanananana

It's time again for our annual Halloween strip!  

Can you name all the Batmans (Batmen?) in the picture?

A Changed Slug

Wait...it doesn't?

I Met a Nice Girl

Well, this is technically the top of the hill, there's only one way to go, and that's down.

Creeper

Online dating...I mean, come on.  Really?

Fair Argument

You can be virtuous and avoid random hookups, but still be shitty with the whole touching kids thing at the same time.  Christianity kind of hangs their pope-hat on that.

New Leaf

There's just no love for Sluggy.

What Do You Mean?

Sometimes Shrimpy can be on point, but still mean at the same time.  

Sluggy has feelings too, even if they are often masked by malt liquor.  

Genesis

Okay, let's see how many time I can be damned to Hell during this storyline.

My Body

The truth hurts.

Retribution

Because really, what better revenge than giant cartoon penises!

Laser

Because how do you deal with an uppity fishstick than by dunking them in a deep fryer?

Fake

So, Fishstick knows it's fake, now Sluggy knows it's fake, but will Shrimpy realize it before he gets his ass lasered? 

Tune in Friday to find out!

Fitness Club/Solution

Two jokes for the price of one? Now that's how you start a week.

Forgetful Juice

Of course it's possible, but is anything that cut and dry around here?

Come back next week to find out.

Queen

Who gets the word "Queen" tattooed on their ass?

Shrimpy, apparently.

Don't worry, this mystery is just starting to unravel.

Tattoo

That's called a cliffhanger!  Come back Wednesday to see what kind of tattoo Shrimpy put on his ass.

There is a Difference

Really, would you expect any less?

Speculation

Well...that was awkward.

All the Rage

How dare you, Sluggy.

Deja Vu

This was initially the real point of this storyline, expounding upon how ridiculous all of the emails that promise you stupid guarantees, free healthcare, student loan relief, single women looking to mingle...

Double Edged Brassiere

Aka: Sorry Sluggy, you don't have any redeeming qualities.

But really, what a revelation!

As a side note, when I originally began crafting this storyline, all of the stuff about duck faces and selfies and shit like that was not even a thing, so when it came time to finalize the story and put art to it, I expanded upon it and you get all of the gems that led to Sluggy's stunning realization about himself.  

Sluggy's Lightbulb

At least Sluggy is beginning to see the error of his ways, right?  

All he had to do was get elective cosmetic surgery to do so.

It Comes Together

Seriously, how is that not prostitution?  Lack of physical contact?  This world is going to hell.

"Fans"

Dignity is a fleeting thing, as is sobriety.