This
episode picked up right where the last one left off, at the tail end of the
“cook me anything” challenge. Mr. Mohawk
winds up winning by the narrowest of margins over mixed up Cyndi, which means
that he has immunity during the next dinner service and cannot be sent
home. There was probably a 95% chance
that he wasn’t going home anyway considering the fact that he is teamed up with
loud guy and guy with no nickname.
Hell’s Kitchen is open for dinner service that
night, and the teams get right to prepping their stations. Of course it wouldn’t be Hell’s Kitchen if
the blue team didn’t have some kind of an issue. This one revolves around loud guy, who can’t
let go of the fact that Ramsay hated his surf and turf dish (one in which he
cut a filet into little medallions, effectively wasting the majority of an
expensive piece of meat). When the
shrimp is bigger than the beef in your surf and turf dish, you’re doing it
wrong. However, loud guy just can’t get
over it. This makes him visibly upset,
as in crying (in the confessional area and, more importantly, in front of his
teammates) and he has to excuse himself from dinner prep to cool down. Obviously this is an extreme burden on the
blue team as they only have two people doing the work that was once done by
upwards of a dozen. Mr. Mohawk knocks
some garnish on the floor and they damn near set the place on fire as something
got spilled on the stove and neither of the two remaining blue chefs notice
smoke billowing from the cook-top as whatever is on it starts to burn. At this point loud guy has the audacity to
come back in and say something to the effect of “I left you guys alone for five
minutes and you try to burn the place down”.
Fuck you loud guy.
This is no ordinary dinner service
tonight as the chef’s tables will be occupied by Maria Menounos and Jeremy Sisto in the blue and red kitchens,
respectively. So not only will the chefs
have to complete their dinner service as usual, but they will also have the
added pressure of doing so under the watchful eyes of “celebrities” (and I use
that term in the loosest way possible).
The dinner service actually starts out fairly well, the appetizers in
the blue kitchen don’t run too smooth but all of the issues are things that can
be quickly corrected (under seasoned risotto for example) except for the fact
that Mr. Mohawk, who is running apps explicitly calls out to guy with no
nickname for two lobster tails to garnish his two risottos. Guy with no nickname gives him one and then,
when caught in the screw up, blames Mr. Mohawk for not telling him he needed
two. Other than that, appetizers in the
blue kitchen go flying out (most likely because Mr. Mohawk is managing the
station). The appetizers for the red
team run into a little trouble when mixed up Cyndi starts to lag (which is
unconventional for her) but she turns it around by the end. One of the most interesting exchanges happens
between Ramsay and squeaky voice as she apparently can’t keep her tongue in her
mouth while cooking. It looks like
Michael Jordan dunking a basketball, except it’s a sweaty white girl that has
her tongue hanging out while she’s cooking other people’s food, so maybe not
like Jordan. Ramsay calls her a cat
because of this and of course the producers insert a typical cat-noise here. Man, this show isn’t subtle at all is it?
Entrees, oh entrees. You are often the bane of the chef’s
existence in Hell’s Kitchen, and this time was no different. Not for the red team, mind you, they do a
decent job of finishing their dinner service.
Of course when it comes time to make desserts for the diners, blonde
girl can’t be bothered, instead sauntering over to Jeremy Sisto to flirt. She even has the balls to announce to the
camera during a confessional that she wanted Sisto to notice her and maybe give
her a call. Yeah, sure. You just came off a dinner service so you are
sweaty and smell like a mixture of different foods, plus you’re not that good
looking to begin with (not to mention that trash heap you call your
personality) and yet you want this guy that could probably walk out onto the
street and have “10’s” throw their underwear at him to give you a call? That’s cute.
Lady, you’re a Syracuse “5” at best, so in California that knocks you
down to at most a “2”. Get a grip.
While the blue team doesn’t have to
deal with a member of their team that is delusional in terms of their chances
with a celebrity, they do have two individuals that are delusional in terms of
their ability to successfully cook. Guy
with no nickname kept sending up raw fish while loud guy royally screwed up the
meat station. Not only did he send up two
beef Wellingtons (at the same time) one being raw and the other dry and
overdone, he also didn’t prep enough extras to cover that. Instead, he avoided telling Ramsay that he
needed more time for the Wellingtons as he made brand new ones (a twenty minute
wait as they had to be cooked from scratch).
This caused Ramsay to do something I have never seen him do; he actually
went to the red kitchen and borrowed two Wellingtons from them so that he could
send the table. It got even worse (I
know, you thought that was the worst it could get, don’t feel bad, so did I) as
loud guy, on one of the final tables, was asked to prepare one order of
lamb. That’s all well and good, except
the lamb that he cooked was burnt all to hell.
It literally looked like shit.
Instead of taking the criticism like a man and just dropping another
lamb, he waffled around, trying to deflect the criticism, or soften the blow to
his ego. Ramsay eventually said “fuck
it” and went to cook the lamb himself. Ramsay
just muscled his way onto loud guy’s station and finished the ticket. Of course loud guy couldn’t let it just
happen, he tried to help (he was quickly rebuffed by Ramsay) and even had the
gall to ask how to cook the lamb, as if he shouldn’t have known that already
considering the fact that we are down to the final seven people. Ramsay turned this around on him (of course)
by making fun of him. “Should I tell you
how to wipe your ass” and other such insults flew from his mouth as he finished
the ticket, much to the delight of the chef’s table.
Needless to say that the blue team
lost. Because Mr. Mohawk was safe, guy
with no nickname and loud guy were both up for elimination, with Mr. Mohawk
providing the recommendation to eliminate guy with no nickname. Ramsay agrees with this recommendation (though
I would have sent loud guy home, if not both of them). The red team was tasked with coming up with
one chef to send over to the blue kitchen (again) and they chose skinny black
girl. While I don’t quite get exiling
one of the stronger chefs to the land of misfit toys, I kind of understand the
logic in terms of a long-reaching strategy.
This week we witness intrigue,
sabotage and Ramsay loses and eyebrow?
What. The. Hell?
See you
next week!
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