In
today’s comic market, this issue would be a #1 issue. It’s a new beginning for the group and a new
storyline and some dumbass editor at Marvel would have seen all of this and
said ”let’s reboot the series!” Luckily,
this series was produced in 1991 so Jim Valentino just puts the tagline “1
st
issue of a brand new era” on the cover.
After Nikki’s new costume and Yondu’s new hand, you had to know that we
were in for a couple more shakeups to the group, and this issue surely has
them. We’ll go through them all as they
come up, but they reshape the Guardians completely and the plot is some of the
best of Valentino’s tenure (the script is often lacking but that’s pretty
characteristic of this series as well.
We
start with the Guardians sitting around the dinner table discussing the future
of Starhawk as part of the team.
Remember, he reabsorbed Aleta last issue, cutting down the Guardians
membership (which was only exacerbated by Replica staying behind to play with
the Protégé). Everyone agrees that
Starhawk is a mega douche and should be kicked out of the group. We then cut to Starhawk, hiding behind a
rock, apparently wrestling with not only Aleta’s personality within him, but a
third personality has arose. Could this
be the hawk-god that gave those two their powers? I honestly don’t remember but wouldn’t be
surprised. We then cut to the Protégé
who is looking for Starhawk himself so that he can get Aleta back (for what I’m
not sure since Malevolence is his nanny now.
Replica tries to reason with him to go easy on his generals, they’re
doing the best they can in terms of finding an all-powerful being that can
travel at the speed of light after all, and Malevolence schemes to get rid of
Replica so she can have the Protégé all to herself.
Back on
the Guardians’ ship, they are nearing Earth and train their cameras upon it to
get a good look. What they find is
destroyed cities that stand empty. This
obviously shocks everyone as the Earth they left a mere four years ago was
teaming with life and not nearly as destitute as the one they see now. We get a quick recap of the Guardians’ time
on Earth in the form of an answer to Nikki’s question before they look through
their cameras again to see Manhattan completely cut off from the rest of the
country. Everyone gets ready to go and
we get another big reveal, Charlie’s new costume, complete with pockets, pockets
and more pockets (along with bullets, oh so many bullets).
The
Guardians beam down to Times Square (which still has a Coke sign after all this
time) and are immediately attacked by the Comandeers. We get some internal monologues from Nikki
and Vance while they’re fighting (something you rarely see in comics today). Everyone continues to fight until the leader
of the Comandeers, Tarin, steps in and implores them all to lay down their
arms. Tarin is apparently someone that
the Guardians had met back before this series started, when they helped save
the Earth from the Badoon. Then we get a
couple history lessons. First, we learn
about Tarin’s history with the Guardians, then, once everyone gets back to the
base of the Comandeers (the sub-basement of an abandoned Avengers mansion) we
learn what happened to Earth. The
culprit of the downfall of civilization?
Television. I shit you not. Apparently this hyper-realistic television
emitted a gas that kept people transfixed, not allowing them to move, eat or
sleep until they eventually just died where they sat. All of the older people died like this,
leaving the younger generations to form gangs and fight over territory. The most ruthless, and therefore the ones
that emerged victorious, were the Punishers, a group of youngsters that
fashioned themselves after everyone’s favorite vigilante: Frank Castle. Of course, no one would have known anything
about the Punisher if it wasn’t for Vance’s Docu-Chips, which apparently had information
on all of the super heroes from his era.
Vance looks like he’s going to start getting all bent out of shape about
it (which Martinex hilariously worries about, it’s nice to know that Valentino
isn’t blind to the fact that his own character is a whiny bitch) but instead he
pledges to stay and fight the Punishers.
Everyone else decides to stay with him, except Martinex, who would
rather go into space and form the Green Lantern Corps. (seriously, read his
mission statement and tell me that’s not the Green Lantern Corps.). They let him go and head to the surface to
find the Punishers.
Next issue: You
guessed it, they find the Punishers, and the goofy looking guy with the
negative mohawk.
In
today’s comic market, this issue would be a #1 issue. It’s a new beginning for the group and a new
storyline and some dumbass editor at Marvel would have seen all of this and
said ”let’s reboot the series!” Luckily,
this series was produced in 1991 so Jim Valentino just puts the tagline “1st
issue of a brand new era” on the cover.
After Nikki’s new costume and Yondu’s new hand, you had to know that we
were in for a couple more shakeups to the group, and this issue surely has
them. We’ll go through them all as they
come up, but they reshape the Guardians completely and the plot is some of the
best of Valentino’s tenure (the script is often lacking but that’s pretty
characteristic of this series as well. 
We
start with the Guardians sitting around the dinner table discussing the future
of Starhawk as part of the team.
Remember, he reabsorbed Aleta last issue, cutting down the Guardians
membership (which was only exacerbated by Replica staying behind to play with
the Protégé). Everyone agrees that
Starhawk is a mega douche and should be kicked out of the group. We then cut to Starhawk, hiding behind a
rock, apparently wrestling with not only Aleta’s personality within him, but a
third personality has arose. Could this
be the hawk-god that gave those two their powers? I honestly don’t remember but wouldn’t be
surprised. We then cut to the Protégé
who is looking for Starhawk himself so that he can get Aleta back (for what I’m
not sure since Malevolence is his nanny now.
Replica tries to reason with him to go easy on his generals, they’re
doing the best they can in terms of finding an all-powerful being that can
travel at the speed of light after all, and Malevolence schemes to get rid of
Replica so she can have the Protégé all to herself.
Back on
the Guardians’ ship, they are nearing Earth and train their cameras upon it to
get a good look. What they find is
destroyed cities that stand empty. This
obviously shocks everyone as the Earth they left a mere four years ago was
teaming with life and not nearly as destitute as the one they see now. We get a quick recap of the Guardians’ time
on Earth in the form of an answer to Nikki’s question before they look through
their cameras again to see Manhattan completely cut off from the rest of the
country. Everyone gets ready to go and
we get another big reveal, Charlie’s new costume, complete with pockets, pockets
and more pockets (along with bullets, oh so many bullets). 
The
Guardians beam down to Times Square (which still has a Coke sign after all this
time) and are immediately attacked by the Comandeers. We get some internal monologues from Nikki
and Vance while they’re fighting (something you rarely see in comics today). Everyone continues to fight until the leader
of the Comandeers, Tarin, steps in and implores them all to lay down their
arms. Tarin is apparently someone that
the Guardians had met back before this series started, when they helped save
the Earth from the Badoon. Then we get a
couple history lessons. First, we learn
about Tarin’s history with the Guardians, then, once everyone gets back to the
base of the Comandeers (the sub-basement of an abandoned Avengers mansion) we
learn what happened to Earth. The
culprit of the downfall of civilization?
Television. I shit you not. Apparently this hyper-realistic television
emitted a gas that kept people transfixed, not allowing them to move, eat or
sleep until they eventually just died where they sat. All of the older people died like this,
leaving the younger generations to form gangs and fight over territory. The most ruthless, and therefore the ones
that emerged victorious, were the Punishers, a group of youngsters that
fashioned themselves after everyone’s favorite vigilante: Frank Castle. Of course, no one would have known anything
about the Punisher if it wasn’t for Vance’s Docu-Chips, which apparently had information
on all of the super heroes from his era.
Vance looks like he’s going to start getting all bent out of shape about
it (which Martinex hilariously worries about, it’s nice to know that Valentino
isn’t blind to the fact that his own character is a whiny bitch) but instead he
pledges to stay and fight the Punishers.
Everyone else decides to stay with him, except Martinex, who would
rather go into space and form the Green Lantern Corps. (seriously, read his
mission statement and tell me that’s not the Green Lantern Corps.). They let him go and head to the surface to
find the Punishers.
Next issue: You
guessed it, they find the Punishers, and the goofy looking guy with the
negative mohawk. 
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