This annual
(the final one of the series) centers around the mutants. We open with the mutants running rampant
through Loki’s Moon mine, killing Inhumans left and right. We get the stunning revelation that
underneath Mindscan’s hair is a creepy-looking head, kind of like The Leader,
or a Conehead with tumors. Somehow,
removing her hair-piece allows her the ability to synch up with equipment
(though that’s not explained at all) which triggers a recording from Loki. Rancor brings in the highest ranking Inhuman
in order to kill him and send him back out as a message to the others in the
tunnels. Pretty shitty and a waste of
time if you ask me, but Rancor has never been the brightest.
As Sidestep
enters the Guardians’ ship, a video of Martinex shows up basically telling her
that she is an intruder and to get off the ship. Mindscan shuts it up and allows Sidestep to
do her thing…which will be revealed later.
We get a quick history lesson from Ulig, the Last Watcher before the
Guardians return to their ship (this all happens after the events of #50). Sidestep has apparently altered the ship’s
security system to not only recognize the Guardians as intruders and gas them,
knocking them out, but also to fly to a world of Rancor’s choosing.
The next
chapter opens with Talon strapped down while Rancor regales him with her grand
plan of pitting one of her mutants against one of the Guardians in a death
match. Talon tries to escape but Rancor
thoroughly kicks his ass (he hurt his back after all) before turning to her
video monitor to watch the melee unfold.
Chapter
three consists of the fight between Yellowjacket and Blockade. Yellowjacket gets the upper hand early by
using her Pym particles (do these things ever run out?) to shrink blockade
down. Unfortunately, Blockade’s power is
to change his size, so he counteracts that by growing. Yellowjacket decides the best way to fight
him is to just grow larger than him and continue trying to kick his ass. She does this, but it comes at a price as she
has grown too big too quickly and is suffering from a heart attack out in the
middle of nowhere.
We leave
Yellowjacket to her fate and focus on the next chapter which shows us Batwing
vs. Vance Astro. We get a brief history
lesson of what happened while the Guardians were asleep and en route to the
planet they wound up on (apparently all of the Inhumans were moved to this new
planet where they were tasked with building a new civilization). There are only a few Inhumans that are not
under Mindscan’s control and they are trying to get Vance to work for them and
lead a rebellion. He defeats Batwing
quickly, but then, inexplicably, the Inhumans turn on him.
Our next
chapter focuses in on Yondu as he battles Mindscan. However this battle is not on the physical
plane but on the mental one as Mindscan shows Yondu that his “God” Anthos is
nothing more than the despotic tyrant Thanos in disguise. Because religion and spirituality are at the
core of Yondu’s being, it shatters him completely, harming him more than any
kind of physical attack (especially from the relatively weak Mindscan) could
do.
The next
chapter involves Talon and Rancor, and the basic premise, and apparently the
basic premise of this entire story is that Rancor is feeling motherly and wants
to have a child. She would never have
one with a human, and the mutants available all suck, or are female, so that’s
a non-starter. She has settled on
Talon. Yes, all of this is an excuse to
get Talon in the sack. When Talon
resists her advances, apparently homicidal maniacs are not really his type, she
straight up rapes him. How she is
guaranteed that he’ll impregnate her I have no idea, but I guess we’ll just
chalk it up to “she’s a mutant” and let it go.
It’s hard
to keep going once one of your main characters has been raped but Gallagher
pushes along, setting up the next battle between Sidestep and Aleta. Aleta is underpowered but still formidable. When Sidestep goes to transport her into the
dimension of Nightmare (the old Dr. Strange villain) Aleta takes Sidestep with
her. They work together to defeat
Nightmare and get out of the dimension, where Aleta straight-up blasts Sidestep
right in her stupid half-shaved head.
Following
that chapter, we see Charlie being confronted by the same police officers we
saw in the regular Guardians book, the ones looking for Ripjak. Charlie resists arrest and looks like he has
the upper hand until the officers flying the spaceship gas him (and their own
men at the same time).
Thankfully
we’re almost done as Nikki takes on Shaddo.
They fight, with Shaddo getting the early upper hand until Nikki sets
her on fire. This was about to be the
end of Shaddo until Vance shows up, extinguishes her and then bitches Nikki out
for trying to survive (good lord I hate Vance as a character). They blink out of existence and are instantly
transported onto their ship, along with the rest of the Guardians, by
Talon. Vance gets all butt-hurt that
someone else is doing something productive and Talon straight up slaps him
before teleporting the entire ship far away.
The fact that he did all this without a direct order is what really
sticks with Vance, proving that he may just be the worst leader in the history
of comics. 
We finish
the story by focusing in on the mutants once again and see that Rancor is very
much pregnant with her rape-baby. This
can’t be good.
The third
and final part of Future History follows and basically fills with everything we
already know but weren’t told in the first two installments. It was teased that we would finally get to
hear about Spiderman’s fate as well…which basically amounted to he died but the
body wasn’t recovered. Talk about
anti-climactic.
Next Issue: Back to the regular
series and more douchey Vance Astro than you can shake Talon’s stick at….too
soon?
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