Thursday, April 9, 2015

Not so New Comic Review: Earth X #8

                We open with yet another conversation between Uatu and X-51 regarding his deletion of his personality circuits.  This one ends ominously though as Uatu pledges to explain to X-51 what the Celestials are actually doing, and why the Watchers watch.

                While X-51 downloads that information, we see the origin of Spiderman.  That’s pretty mundane though and doesn’t offer much else until the end when the conversation between Uatu and X-51 turns contentious.  You see, X-51 failed to actually delete his personality circuits, lying to Uatu and pretending that he was a mere robot.  As they are fighting though, John Jameson comes in and asks for X-51’s help to warn the Earth.

                With that we head back down to the blue marble, where Cap uses Lockjaw’s (pour one out for poor Lockjaw, who died of mange too young) teleportation device to enter Iron Man’s impenetrable fortress.  Iron Man immediately goes all crazy germaphobe, vaulting himself to the ceiling and encasing himself in a clear Iron Man suit to escape the germs.  Another theory is the fact that Cap wore the same “costume” across country in a train, that thing has got to be smelling a little ripe right now.  Cap is trying to get Tony to help against the Skull, but Tony brushes him off, telling him that the Iron Avengers probably have it all taken care of already.  We then cut to the streets of New York, where the Skull’s forces have overcome and dismantled the Iron Avengers and are now attacking Hydra.  The people of New York can’t catch a break.  When the cops try to stop the Skull, the Luke Cage led team is met with the Skull’s mind control powers as he commands the officers to shoot Cage.  Cage cannot be harmed, however, and the ricochet kills those around him.  The Skull is just playing with everyone now.  Instead of growing his army, he has turned to mass murder. 

On top of a building, we get another quarrel between Spiderman and his daughter, May.  Spidey doesn’t want May to be a superhero, and May, rightfully so, sees that with great power, like a symbiotic super suit, comes great responsibility.  Down on the ground, Reed is finding out that the Vibranium explosion that he thought mutated the population, was not the culprit after all.  Apparently everyone on Earth is now Inhuman.  The Terrigen mists were released on the world, transforming everyone.  This is also evident because Luna, upon exposure to Earth’s atmosphere, has begun to transform as well.  This, of course, brings to mind the Marvel event of 2013, Infinity, where the Terrigen mists were released on the world, mutating the Inhumans that were hiding there.  Karnak initially blames the release of the mists on Maximus, Black Bolt’s crazy brother, but it turns out that Maximus is dead.  Who released the mists on Earth then?  That’s a mystery we will soon uncover.

In Dr. Strange’s humble abode, Hulk and Thor come rocketing out of the land of the dead, apparently impervious to Clea’s candle trick.  This isn’t really explained, though the buildup to their emergence is masterfully done by John Paul Leon.  A fight ensues, one in which Loki stays out of even though Clea requests his aid.  The skirmish does wind up in the death of both Clea and Thor though, if you are to believe Loki, that is.  I will withhold my judgment. 

We now travel to Russia, as Cap goes on his recruitment drive to try and gain the help of Colossus and his awesome mustache.  Colossus reluctantly agrees to help and we then travel back to New York, where May is battling Iron Maiden in the skies above New York.  While this is happening, we see Peter, May’s father, mind you, taking pictures.  Spiderman has turned into the least likable character in the Marvel Universe.  May defeats Iron Maiden and lands in front of the Skull, who immediately takes control of her mind.  Peter, dumbfounded at his lot in life, doesn’t know what to do next, so he just walks home.  We end the action with the Skull and his posse showing up to say hello to Norman Osborn, the President of the United States, who has an office in New York City. 

The Appendix for this issue is dense, but important, so I’ll try to summarize the best I can.  The Terrigen mists were brought to Earth by the Kree, an alien race that loves to mess with the Celestials plans.  Apparently there is the ability for everyone to have superpowers embedded within every person, they just need a catalyst to bring them forth.  Sometimes that’s a spider bite, the detonation of a gamma bomb, or the disbursement of the Terrigen mists.  The real reason everyone has powers, why the Celestials gave them to the population will be reveled next issue.


Next Issue:  What is the grand Celestial plan?  Can it be stopped?  Should it be stopped?

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