Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Hell’s Kitchen Episode Eighteen: The Non-Consensus

                Will someone finally be sent home for the love of all things Ramsay!?  It’s been nearly a month since an elimination (seriously, between last week’s repeat and the fact that this is part three of “Five Chefs Compete” it feels like forever since someone was sent packing).  Let’s see if Ramsay has finally had enough of his current crop of chefs and starts to whittle down some of the dead weight.

                We open with an individual challenge in which each of the chefs had to make their own gourmet burger.  Ramsay prefaces this challenge by showing them his own gourmet burger that he casually mentions can sell for upwards of $100.00.  Go back and read that again, I’ll wait.  That’s right, a $100.00 hamburger.  Holy shit what has happened to society when we are selling burgers for $100.00?  It’s not even that a chef would put that rich of a price tag on it, it’s the fact that we have people out there willing to shell out their hard-earned cash to keep it in demand enough for it to stay on the menu.  This thing had better be made out of endangered baby seal meat with an orphan-tear aioli and tomatoes grown in the ashes of holocaust victims (too soon?) for me to even consider paying that much for a hamburger. 

                Okay, rant over, I feel better now.  The competition itself is not just a standard “make your burger and Ramsay will judge it along with one of his colleagues” though.  Instead, Jean Phillipe, the snooty Maitre D has invited a bunch of his friends to the restaurant.  They will all taste the burgers and vote on their favorite.  Upon completion of the tasting, Ramsay reveals everyone’s least favorite burger (blonde girl, which is not that surprising) and then states with forty percent of the vote, which based on the fact that there were five people competing is a crazy number, Mr. Mohawk wins.  His reward is a spa day and he is allowed to bring one of the girls with him.  He chooses mixed up Cyndi because (as he says) “She’s one of the guys”.  This kind of makes sense, because I have no doubt the other three would be talking his ear off the whole time.  Well played Mr. Mohawk.  Not only that but these two are the strongest chefs and most likely to land in the top two, so banding together now would help them in the long run. 

                While Mr. Mohawk and mixed up Cyndi get their facial on (it’s not as dirty as it sounds) the rest of the chefs have a laundry list of stuff to do as Ramsay has given Jean Phillipe and his staff the day off.  This includes steaming the tablecloths, setting up the dining room and even washing Jean Phillipe’s car.  Not only that, but then they have to set up for dinner service that evening.  That’s a lot of work for only three people in the time allotted, but through the magic of television they get it all done.

                The dinner service is a mess compared to the previous one where the chefs narrowly lost out to the returning champions.  It is not really as bad as where the chefs came from (they completed it, so that’s a plus) but it is still not up to par with where they should be and far below Ramsay’s standards.  Mr. Mohawk and mixed up Cyndi have a solid outing (maybe because of spa day, I don’t know for sure) but the other three are train wrecks.  Squeaky voice sends up shitty fish, skinny black girl sends up risotto that elicits a reaction I’ve rarely seen from Ramsay.  When he tastes it, it looks like a baby shit in his mouth, his reaction is that pronounced.  Blonde girl decides that she wants to be “Top Chef” for the day and starts firing tickets.  The main problem is that she is firing the entrees on tickets in which the tables are still waiting for their appetizers.  Ramsay hands her his apron and walks out of the kitchen, leaving her to run the pass and her garnish station.  I will give her a little credit, she actually does it.  I mean, food goes out and we don’t see any of it coming back.  How much of that is her leadership as opposed to everyone else just upping their game, I don’t know for sure. 

                Elimination time comes and Ramsay asks for two nominees.  Everyone is in agreement that squeaky voice should go up.  She’s a good chef but this was by far her worst service.  The last spot has a split vote between skinny black girl and blonde girl.  The only problem is that it’s impossible to have a split vote when you have an odd number of people.  I have no idea how that happened, and Ramsay apparently doesn’t care as he calls up all three of the chefs and sends blonde girl home.  Before she goes, he does state that he may have a job for her in the future if she keeps cooking and keeps her passion.  This is news to me as I didn’t think Ramsay was really into the McDonalds franchisee thing, but to each his own I guess.

                Next time, with the four strongest chefs left in the competition, two get eliminated after they each get their chance to run the pass.  Is there sabotage, intrigue, bad food in store?  We’ll see next time (or we probably won’t).  Only a couple more episodes to go!


                See you next week.

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