After
the insanity of last issue, both in terms of story structure and the presence
of Malevolence, the psychic vampire/daughter of the devil/craziness, this issue
is billed as what the Guardians do with their “down time”. They are still en route to the lost colony of
Earthmen that they learned about from Vision back in issue six. It’s nice to see the interim, for Valentino
to work in a character issue between all of the fights and the objectives that
he has placed in front of the Guardians.
This shows that he is doing more to develop the characters and the team
than simply just giving them “things to do” or making this an event comic. That is what was always so great about the
Claremont X-Men books. In between the
events (and often times during them), there was always some character-centric
issues.
We open
on another Claremont-ian staple, the training sequence. The Guardians have their own Danger Room type
facility on their ship where they can hone their skills and tactics. Judging by how badly they get their asses
kicked in nearly every issue, they need to spend a lot more time here. While everyone is training, except for Vance,
he’s running the simulation because he now has the Captain America shield and
obviously doesn’t need to train. Yondu,
while in the room with the rest of the Guardians, is not there mentally as he is
still in full-on emo-mode. Instead of
making Yondu work though it and stop being a big baby, Vance suggests that
everyone takes a break (hence the title of “Down Time” for this issue). 
During
that downtime, Martinex is going to use it to not be the leader of the
Guardians anymore. He first starts by
asking Vance if he will assume the mantle of leadership (he won’t) and we will
find that this is something that basically consumes Martinex for a long
time. After Martinex is rebuffed by
Vance, we peek in on The Stark (yes, apparently Valentino is going to try and
milk these villains for everything they’re worth). We get to see Taserface getting his ass
kicked as part of his punishment for losing to the Guardians over and over
again, and find out that he is destined for greater things than just getting
his ass kicked. Once that fun is over,
we switch back over to the Guardians and see Nikki taking a soak in a tub of
water. Of course, being a resident of
Mercury and having skin that is hot to the touch creates strategically placed
bubbles and steam so we can keep this comic well within the framework of the
Comics Code (remember them, when they regulated stuff like language and gore,
and basically anything you would find in a Mark Millar comic book). She has a heart to heart with Charlie, who is
still in love with her, even though she’s got the “hots” (get it) for Firelord. The fact that she attends this conversation
in the nude doesn’t help matters, I’m sure.
After
more soul-searching by Martinex and brief stop-off to see what Starhawk is up
to, we find out that something is wrong with the ship. It lurches to a halt, throwing everyone off
balance. Everyone goes to check out the
disturbance (and we get Martinex trying to give up leadership to Charlie-27 as
well) only to find that it’s Yondu trying to take command of the ship so he can
find Photon, the last remaining female of his race, so that they can repopulate
the universe. The Guardians dispatch of
their teammate very easily (apparently the only way the Guardians can win
convincingly is if they fight one of their own) and send him to his room (I
shit you not). 
We then
peek in on Vance, not wearing his containment suit because apparently Martinex
built him a room that mimics his suit’s ability to ward off decomposition of
his 2000 year old skin. As he’s lounging
around naked, Aleta comes in and says that she wants to be an item (of course
she starts out by talking about Captain America, but all that does is ensure
that Vance has a stiffy before she mentions those two hooking up). Vance questions the fact that she is still
married to Starhawk, but apparently in Aleta’s society, a woman can just call
off a marriage at her whim so she’s free and clear. Vance is still overly cautious and says that
he “wants to take it slow”, which is usually code word for “I don’t want you
but if it will prevent you from killing me with your light powers I’ll lead you
on for a bit”.
As a slight
aside, we peek in on Malevolence bitching to her father about the kid she was
bitching about last issue. This is just
more foreshadowing for something many issues down the road, so we won’t spend
too much time on it here.
Back to
the Guardians’ ship, Yondu isn’t happy being on time out, so he uses his
teleportation badge to escape to a mini ship that he plans on piloting away so
he can find his “lady-love”. Starhawk
shows up to talk some sense into him and Yondu wants none of that, going from
weepy emo to full-on rage attack.
Starhawk subdues him and basically gets him to chill out through the
power of meditation and self reflection.
As the rest of the Guardians show up to help, we find that they have
finally found the planet they were looking for, the one harboring the last
colony of earthmen. They send a hailing
frequency to the planet, hoping for a warm welcome, but all they get is the
wrath of an angry, super 90s, Wolverine–looking lady, who is apparently the
ruler of this planet.
Next,
the “World of Mutants” storyline begins and we meet Rancor (that evil
semi-Wolverine girl) and the rest of her mutants. Will the Guardians be warmly received, but
more importantly, will Rancor refer to everyone as “Bub”? Tune in next time to find out.
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