It’s
that time again, time for another Guardians of the Galaxy Annual. This one is brought to you by Michael
Gallagher, the writer of the regular series, and penciler Colleen Doran. Unlike the past annuals, this one is one
large self-contained story instead of a bunch of little ones. Let’s see how it goes. 
Before
we get too far in, I would like to make a quick comment about Colleen Doran’s
pencils. While being technically ok, as
in, she draws very well, there seems to be a distinct lack of personality in
her pencils. I am not sure where this
book falls in terms of her bibliography, but it has a feeling like it’s one of
her first published works, like she has yet to find herself and her own
artistic voice, so instead she is trying to be technically proficient (which
she is). 
This
search takes them Ireland, where they find an old stone structure that
apparently still houses the book (it was put here for safekeeping). Of course, it’s not going to be kept safe
without a guardian, which is where Cuchulain, the Irish Wolfhound come into
play. He’s dressed in a medieval Irish
garb and knocked out Charlie with one punch (which means he’s pretty damn
powerful). He also seems to either be
incredibly simple in the head, or just completely unaware of superheroes and
“modern” society altogether as this group of heroes, and especially the women,
just totally blow his mind. Eventually
the battle turns in the favor of the Guardians until probability gets in the
way, or more specifically, someone that can control probability in the form of
Shamrock (who is basically the Scarlet Witch in green). The Guardians start to lose again until
Hollywood shows up and charms the pants off of Shamrock (possibly literally but
the comics code prevents us from seeing that).
The
fighting stops and we get a quick primer on Shamrock’s origin story before
hearing how she fit in to the whole War of the Worlds thing as well as how she
got the Book of Kells in her possession (thanks to Dr. Druid, who also saddled
her with Cuchulain as a companion for basically the rest of time). 
Before
we can get a chance to really feel sorry for Shamrock though, the true villain
of the story emerges (a whole forty-four pages in). Samhain and his army of blue banshees shows
up to claim the Book of Kells for his own, because he apparently hates to read,
or something like that. The Guardians
battle the banshees as Samhain ventures into the cave where the Book of Kells
is kept. Shamrock is there to greet him
and she unleashes her full power on him in the form of the various spirits that
make up her mind (they are the ones that affect the laws of probability which
is where her power is derived from).
This overwhelms Samhain and sends him screaming into the night. Shamrock then hands the book over to the
Guardians and goes off with Cuchulain to find adventure and to attempt to
basically do to Europe what Tarin is doing to America (jump start
civilization).
After
the dumpster fire that was Black Out the
Sun, to say I was a little cautious about picking up Time Travelers and Bonfires was an understatement. Hearing that it was going to be an acoustic
album didn’t necessarily help this feeling of uncertainty because the tempo in Black Out the Sun was a primary reason I
had a problem with it. Would this be
just a continuation of that album? Would
this just travel further down the path of mediocrity already laid in place by
the preceding album? Most importantly,
would it be worth my twelve dollars or would I be duped once again by a band
that was at one point one of my favorites?
It’s a
knock-down drag-out fight as Rancor fights Wolver-Doom. Who is Wolver-Doom you ask? Why he is the brain of Dr. Doom implanted in
the skull of Wolverine’s robotic adamantium skeleton thingy. Thinking back on it, this may be the exact
moment that Doom lost to Loki in the Eat @ Shrimpy’s Villain Bracket. What happens when these two tangle for the right
to…I don’t know, lead a post-apocalyptic world that revolves around television? Let’s find out.
The
first thing I want to do is give Kevin West his due. He is a talented artist that seems to be
fighting his hardest not to completely become a Liefeld clone. The fact that he is tasked with drawing, what
amounts to a skeleton (with some robot innards) in a fight with Rancor, and not
posing it stiffly or showing only the “easy” angles of the skeleton
(front/back/profile) proves that he has an incredible amount of talent. Why I saw nothing from him after this I have
no idea. Maybe by the end of the run he
had devolved into a total Liefeld clone, I don’t know, but I hope not.
The
fight goes on for a few pages before we get a break to see the Guardians’
reactions. The rest of the mutants
(remember, the Guardians dispatched Batwing and Blockade last issue) show up on
the scene to engage our heroes. At this
point Blockade and Batwing wake up and the whole fight begins again, now with
fairly even odds. That battle continues
until Aleta sees the “body pit” which is exactly what it sounds like. When the people rebuilding the Realiteevee
plant have worked themselves to death, the mutants just pick them up and throw
them in the death pit. This mass
genocide enrages Aleta. Before we can
see her reaction though it is time to get back to the main fight between Rancor
and Wolver-Doom. 
Rancor smartly realizes that most
of Wolver-Doom is coated in adamantium, except for his eyeballs (really, all of
the robot parts should be just plain metal too, as nothing was stated in terms
of Doom having straight up spare adamantium or the knowledge of the process to
bond it to other materials). Regardless,
Rancor stabs him in the eye with her broken Wolverine claw. This messes with Wolver-Doom quite a bit as
he now is blind in one eye. Rancor uses
this to her advantage and grabs a live wire to electrocute Wolver-Doom. It is stuff like this that I really enjoy
about Michael Gallagher’s writing. The
tactical stuff is so well done, it’s the quieter scenes, the character moments
that really screw it up for me. This
knocks out the power to the whole complex, and gives us a chance to see ALeta shining
brightly, having just rescued Tarin and Old Redd of the Comandeers.
We then shoot to the moon and meet
Composite’s gang of Inhumans. The
designs are pretty typical 90’s in terms of their costumes but the fact that
there are four characters with four distinct body types shows that West is not
boring in terms of his artistic ability.
He likes to mix it up and put a lot more thought into his character designs
than many of his contemporaries. We also
get to learn who the green and gold clad villain was behind the scenes this
whole time…and if you haven’t guessed it yet…it’s Loki, because why not, throw
the Norse Gods in there too.
Back on Earth, Nikki apologizes to
Charlie for flaming up his head seven issues ago and they make up. 
On the Guardians’ ship, they have
Rancor in the medibay, completely unrestrained, mind you, because, well, I’m
not really sure. The last I knew she was
a pretty powerful member of their rogues gallery. As one would expect, she wakes up, dispatches
Yellowjacket and takes off. The rest of
Rancor’s mutants follow suit and teleport away from the Guardians, which is not
really a surprise as this is the primary power of one of their members,
something Vance, or somebody, should have known.
Even
though Tesla were an 80’s metal band, they never had that 80’s flair. They had the hair, sure, but their music was
always more than just the fluff that most bands that rose to prominence in the
80’s provided. Most rock music has blues
undertones, but where a lot of the 80’s bands glossed over that with
synthesizers and hair spray, Tesla embraced it, and because of that, their
music has stood up a lot better (in my opinion) than other bands of that era.
How
could this comic get any weirder? By
throwing in a guest spot from the Beyonder of course! That Marvel villain who was responsible for
the Secret Wars in the 80’s now has his eyes set on the Guardians of the
Galaxy, for reasons unknown. Let’s see
if we can figure it out.
Well,
this wouldn’t be a Guardians of the Galaxy comic without some manufactured
drama, right? This issue’s manufactured
drama comes from the galaxy’s worst couple, Aleta and Vance Astro. Now, I’m not saying Vance doesn’t have a case
to be upset here, his supposed girlfriend disappears and reappears with no interest
in him at all. That’s pretty shitty, but
he’s going about it like a whiny baby.
True, we don’t know how long they were actually together, comic book
time being a funny, malleable thing and all, and Aleta (whether under her own
power or that of the Hawk God) is acting like a bitch about the whole thing
with no real explanation. Maybe that’s
the big problem here, not that their relationship is disintegrating, or that
this storyline is following suit, but that there is no explanation provided to
anyone. Now I kind of feel Vance’s pain.
After a
quick interlude where Nikki and Yellowjacket are trying on new outfits, which
is basically an excuse for a little T&A, we get back to mopey Vance. Vance is busy wallowing inhis own self pity
until the Beyonder snaps him out of it.
The Beyonder has trapped the Protégé and Malevolence in a crystal
construct and is just holding them there, observing them, like a couple of
goldfish. Vance doesn’t like this
development because, well, it’s wrong I guess and we are still establishing
Vance’s moral high ground above anything else.
The Beyonder then gives Vance a new costume (this is apparently the new
costume issue) which just consists of his old costume plus a long sleeve black
undershirt. The Beyonder never explains
this, he just leaves.
The
Guardians get to the Realiteevee plant at the very end of last issue’s events
between Rancor and Doom. We then get to
see that Doom is not necessarily Doom anymore as he now has Wolverine’s claws
(minus the one that was somehow broken and is currently in Rancor’s
possession). Doom reveals that only the
brain of Dr. Doom remains while it is currently being housed in the Adamantium
laced skeleton of Wolverine. I have two
major issues with this revelation. One: many
many issues ago, somewhere in the teens around the first introduction of the
mutants I believe, there was a plotline that was starting to lead us in a
direction basically saying that Wolverine is still alive and taking on more of
a low-key, subservient role. That was apparently
completely tossed out when Valentino left and no mention was made of it
again. To be honest, if I wasn’t reading
these issues back to back I may not have even caught it myself, but I did. Two: the “skeleton” that Doom inhabits is
more along the lines of a robot with ribs.
Are we supposed to believe that this is what Wolverine’s skeleton looks
like underneath his current skin and musculature? Why does he have normal hands and what looks
like boots instead of feet? If it is
indeed a robot with adamantium bone accoutrements, is Doom really as invincible
as he thinks? Can’t Rancor just destroy
the robot portion of Doom? Plus, Doom
and Wolverine are two vastly different heights.
Doom is a regal height, tall and noble in stature while Wolverine is a
“runt”. Wolverine’s bones wouldn’t “fit”
Dr. Doom’s proportions. Oh well, that’s
comics for you!
Dr.
Strange is dead! You know it’s real too
because it says so right on the cover to this issue. Now the Guardians need to deal with Dormammu
without the aid of the most powerful magical figure in the Marvel
Universe. How will they fare? Let’s find out. 
We
start out with Dormammu standing triumphant over the fallen form of Dr.
Strange. He doesn’t get a chance to
rest, however as he is quickly teleported inside the Guardians’ ship where he
is punched by Charlie. Before he can
recover, Charlie (remember, the guy that was in a coma a couple minutes ago)
keeps beating the tar out of him. Before
he can land a counterpunch he is teleported again. This time he has to deal with Yellowjacket
who is shrunk down to her tiny form and blasting away at him. In order to take her out, Dormammu is just
going to explode from all sides with his magical powers, which would destroy
the ship as well if it wasn’t for the fact that right before he does that he’s
teleported outside into space where his tantrum is harmless and right into the
waiting arms of Krugarr who is eager to avenge the death of his mentor.
We now
travel to the moon, where Dr. Doom is being watched by a mysterious figure in
green and gold and his creepy minion named composite, which is a creation
taking all of the qualities of the Inhuman royal family and combining them into
one individual.
At the
end of it all, Talon get’s the dead Doctor’s Eye of Agamotto and the Guardians
get a new ship (the Galactic Guardians’ ship, just handed over by
Martinex). The Guardians agree to
go to Earth to check on the Comandeers
and everyone splits up.
It’s
been three years since the last Black Stone Cherry album, and in that time, not
a whole lot has changed musically. This
is not a knock on the band or the new album Magic
Mountain as it is just as good as the previous three releases from the
band. To be perfectly honest, in an era
when every band was trying to sound like Nickelback, Black Stone Cherry set
itself apart by blending southern rock with grunge and metal influences, creating
a heavy sound that was equally melodic.
Where Nickelback was heavy rock that hit you over the head with a hammer
of suck, Black Stone Cherry was more subtle, using its influences to craft a
sound all its own instead of trying to create a sound that mimicked anyone
else. 
