When
last we saw our heroes, Cap had just retrieved a piece of fabric with a Red
Skull on it (re-cue ominous music). Before
we pick that storyline back up, we need to have our customary
flashback/superhero origin retelling.
This issue showcases the Fantastic Four.
After a quick retelling of the origin of Marvel’s First Family, we get
back to the action. Of course the “action”
in this instance is a brownstone in New York City, which happens to be the home
to Ben Grimm and his wife Alicia Masters (you know her, the same blind girl
that was in love with the Thing forever).
Honestly, with all of the bleakness that makes up this series, it’s nice
to see somewhat of a happy ending for someone.
It’s
here that the Inhumans find themselves.
And if you thought the Inhuman royal family knocking on Ben Grimm’s door
like they were coming over for dinner sounds weird..you’re right. You know what else is weird? The fact that Thing and Alicia have two kids,
named Buzz and Chuck, that look just like Ben.
I don’t know if I really understand that just yet, but okay, I’m willing
to suspend disbelief for the moment, this is a comic book after all.
The
main reason that the inhumans have come back to Earth, and specifically, New
York City is because it is time for the royal wedding. Luna, daughter of
Inhuman Crystal and Mutant Douchebag Quicksilver is to marry Medusa and Black
Bolt’s son. A little more info comes out
that apparently, something happened that gave everyone powers. The power that Alicia got was apparently to
give life to the clay sculptures she created.
While
we’re on the topic of origin stories and history, Ben goes into the story of
the dissolution of the Fantastic Four.
Apparently a fight with Doctor Doom and Namor turned deadly as The Human
Torch attacked Namor, who was once again pissed about how humanity treated the
oceans (seriously, that guy was a prius away from being a hipster douchebag),
and Namor retaliated by murdering the shit out of him right in front of
Franklin Richards (who was a kid!)
Franklin was not just a kid, but a kid with reality-warping powers. He used these powers to set half of Namor on
fire, which forced Namor back into the ocean.
Even though it was a different Human Torch, it was interesting that what
looks to be the beginning of the end for the current Marvel Universe revolved
around a fight between Namor and the Human Torch, just like the beginning of
the Marvel Universe revolved around a similar throwdown decades ago. Sue Storm then does her best Bucky
impression, jumping on Doom’s helicopter as it pulls away, only to blow up with
it.
Well,
that’s three of the four, you say, what happened to Mr. Fantastic himself? Well, he became super emo and moved to
Latveria, donning Dr. Doom’s armor and moping around his castle. He then gets a video call from Tony Stark,
who looks a lot like Reed, but with a bald patch on his head. All old smart guys look like Santa Claus I
guess?
We
quickly look in on Cap and Redwing as they are searching through the SHIELD
Helicarrier. Leon does a great job of
using the light from the screens in the downed Helicarrier (it landed on its
side) light up Cap and Redwing from below (the art is really well done in this,
that’ll become a theme). Cap reveals
that he has the keys to Nick Fury’s car and then they fly off in a vehicle that
looks like something out of a Lego playset.
They are heading to the west coast to track down the Red Skull, who at
this point is just an insignia.
Now,
either back in New York or in Los Angeles, I’m not sure which, we meet
Daredevil. He is not the Daredevil we
know and love though. He apparently
cannot die so he uses that power to bring entertainment to the unwashed
masses. This happens in a carnival like
atmosphere which is quickly broken up by members of the Skull’s gang. One of them is named Iron Maiden, but is
unfortunately not Bruce Dickinson, while the others are, old Sandman, what
looks like Sunspot, maybe, some guy that I cannot pinpoint and fat Domino.
We
leave with some exposition about Reed Richards; Mole Man (who is now normal
because the mutation of Earth’s population fucked everyone up, oh the irony)
and the Skrulls, who are mostly dead.
Next Issue: More Emo Richards? Do Thelma and Louise, I mean Cap and Redwing
make it across the country? Are there
more characters named after 80’s metal bands?
Anthrax? Motorhead? Stryper?
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