Fishing for Quality Dining

                This last weekend, the wife and I were doing a little charity work in Rochester.  Upon completion, we went out to eat, settling on Bonefish Grill in the Eastview Mall.  At the Taste of Syracuse last year we sampled the bang bang shrimp, so this seemed like a good opportunity to see how the rest of the menu stacked up to that delectable experience.

                First of all, as soon as we got there we were greeted by two hostesses, one old and one young.  The young one seemed nice enough, smiling the entire time we were at the door.  The older woman, however, gave us the worst eye-fuck you can imagine.  She looked my wife and I up and down like we were the scum of the earth and how dare we come to her restaurant.  My wife was wearing a long, spaghetti strap dress and I was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts with a baseball cap on (my usual summer attire).  The look on this woman's face from the moment we walked through the door was about as unwelcoming as I have ever seen.  Once we sat down I asked my wife if she saw the look that lady gave me and she brought to my attention that she did it to her as well.  I wanted to ask this old twat what her problem was and why she felt so superior?  She was, after all, a hostess at a restaurant…in a mall, but I kept my mouth shut.  What a great way to start out the experience though.

                We ordered the bang bang shrimp appetizer to start us off.  It was okay.  At Taste of Syracuse it was delicious, covered in that spicy cream sauce that is often imitated but never perfected.  Here, the shrimp were nice and crispy, but the sauce was barely there.  Not only that, but it was heaped high in a small casserole dish (like a large ramekin) that was only half shrimp.  The other half was just lettuce.  I would rather have the shrimp piled on a plate than have it mounded on top of lettuce for no conceivable reason whatsoever.  I am definitely in the camp of “don’t put something on the plate if it does not need to be there.  Unnecessary garnish is wasteful and ridiculous in my opinion.

                For dinner, my wife ordered crab cakes while I had the fish tacos.  The crab cakes were probably 90% meat which is a tasty ratio, except they fell apart into crab pieces as soon as the fork hit them.  They tasted pretty good and the remoulade that came with them was outstanding.  It was a bit overpowering when consumed in conjunction with the crab cake though as the subtleness of the crab was easily masked by the remoulade.  The fish tacos were tasty as well.  The (I’m assuming) tilapia was well masked by the rest of the taco fixin’s.  The mango salsa was the most prevalent flavor on the taco, but the lime crema and cilantro were nice touches as well.  The fish did leave an aftertaste that lingered long after the rest of the ingredients were gone from my palette, but it wasn’t that unpleasant. 

                In all, our waitress was very good, very welcoming, and the food was okay but not great.  I’m not sure if I would eat here again, at least not at this particular location, but it wasn’t terrible by any stretch of the imagination.  

Restaurant Review: Joe’s Crab Shack

                It’s not very often that my girlfriend and I get out to Rochester; so after working a charity event for my cousin on Saturday afternoon in nearby Pittsford, I promised to take her to Joe’s Crab Shack.  We had seen the commercials and after realizing that the restaurants were not solely on the coast (who knew a coastal destination wasn't required for "fresh" seafood) it seemed like fates had aligned for us to sample some of our favorite cuisine. 

                We arrived without a reservation at around 7:15.  We were told (and accurately so) that there would be a twenty-five to thirty minute wait for a table for two (despite there being three open tables right behind the hostess station (tables that remained open throughout the evening).  After the thirty minute wait, we were seated at a table, in what might be the loudest restaurant I have ever been in.  The music was blaring, which forced the people to speak loudly just to be heard.  I understand having some music in the background, but this was ridiculous.  We were greeted with not only a book of specials, but also a large menu (over four pages packed full of dishes).  It seemed relatively unnecessary in my mind to have that many options on the menu when your specialty is seafood, but I’m no restaurant owner so what do I know.  Our server, Jaymie (I shit you not, that’s how she spelled her name, and Microsoft Word’s spell-checker program is going to have a heart attack if I keep using it) was very helpful in picking out the dishes, offering us time to look on our own and even a helpful suggestion (the Cajun steam pot has better crab and more flavor) before taking our order.  We ordered an appetizer and a steam pot each. 

                The appetizer arrived shortly after, one of their seasonal platters containing a cheesy crab dip, homemade fried clam strips and what basically amounted to seafood salsa.  As the server (not Jaymie) placed our plate down, she mentioned that they had dropped some of our clam strips on the floor, but no worry, they were putting more in.  Great.  I understand accidents happen, and they were being proactive by not only putting more in, but also telling us instead of having us wonder why there were so few clam strips on the plate.  The appetizer was garnished with tortilla chips for dipping in both the crab dip and seafood salsa.  Our chips were mere crumbs however, like the kind you find when someone sits on the bag, even though ours seemed fresh which was doubly unforgivable.  Eventually, Jaymie came over to check on us and brought more chips because she didn’t like the look of the ones we got (of course she brought them after the dips were eaten).  Throughout the appetizer and on through the entrée, we saw neither hide nor hair of our remaining clam strips. 

                When Jaymie dropped off the non-destroyed tortilla chips, she mentioned that our food should be coming right out.  Ten minutes later, instead of dinner, we were treated to a show as every server in the restaurant began to start a choreographed dance.  At that point, I determined that if I was ever a server at an establishment such as this, I would promptly shoot myself in the face.  Ten minutes after the show (and about fifteen minutes after we were told it would arrive), our food made its way to our table.  My girlfriend received the Cajun steam pot and I received one that prominently featured Old Bay Seasoning and had more shellfish than hers (though the official name of it escapes me).  Each came with a sausage, an ear of corn, and potatoes.  The seasoning on mine (and hers as well, was only prominent on the one side of corn that was facing up when they sprinkled it on the pot.  Other than that, each component in the pot tasted just like the steamed version of the seafood, not special in any way, as their name ad description on the menu would lead you to believe.  The Cajun pot might have tasted a little bit more Cajun-y, but the cooks forgot to put the sauce on it (which Jaymie brought out and gave to my girlfriend on the side).  Aside from that, it was just a pot of steamed seafood, with a generic sausage and bland potatoes and corn.  The seafood was tasty, but it’s hard to screw up steamed seafood, except that half of my clams were not open when I got my pot.

                We finished our meals and were ready to go, just waiting on our check, but Jaymie was nowhere to be found.  She had dropped off our meals, refilled our waters and that was the last we saw of her until my girlfriend went to the bathroom and Jaymie was in there talking on her cell phone (obviously out of the eye of her supervisors).  Not long after that, Jaymie delivered our check, we paid and left.

Verdict:

                The food was tasty but nothing special, especially for the price.  The appetizer was actually very good, but the fact that half our clam strips were on the floor and our chips were crumbs made it a less than desirable dish.  The standards in that restaurant in terms of food quality are obviously pretty low.  For the same price we paid for two steam pots, we could probably do the same thing at home, if not more, especially since their “seasonings” were only superficial.  The service started out okay and slowly devolved into somewhere between negligence and rudeness.  The choreographed dancing was ridiculous and lent itself to a general air of carelessness.  The atmosphere in general, while lively and colorful, was too much of each and way too in-your-face to be an adequate dining venue.  This may be a decent place for a special event like a birthday or something, but for two people going out to eat, I would steer clear.  Joe’s Crab Shack, by far, fails to live up to the expectations, and there’s a very good chance we won’t be dining here again anytime in the future.

Good Food, Good Music, Stupid People; What More Could You Ask For?

-Matt Magill

It’s not very often that I get to see a free concert, and especially one that features a band I have followed for years and would gladly pay money to see.  That is why, when Nik mentioned to me that Govt. Mule was coming to the Rochester Jazz Fest, and it was a free concert, I jumped at the opportunity.  Knowing that my father is a fan of the band as well I asked him to come along as he missed the Mule concert that  I attended in 2006.  Before the show, which started at nine in the evening, we decided to head to Sticky Lips, a local Rochester barbecue joint.

There are two Sticky Lips locations in Rochester, and you owe it to yourself to get there and get there today.  I have had barbecue in many places, and in many highly touted barbecue restaurants and this is by far the best I have ever had.  Even the critically acclaimed Dinosaur Barbecue cannot hold a candle to the quality on the Sticky Lips plate.  The atmosphere is great as well and the appeal was only heightened with our being ushered to the upstairs open-air patio.  If you are going to eat barbecue, it should be a rule that you have to eat it out in the sunshine. 

The drinks that they served were adequate.  I got a glass of their Sangria (as I cannot drink beer) which was decent but not as strong as I would have liked.  My father got a Golden Monkey beer which he enjoyed quite a bit (he and Nik share a love for craft brews) and even with its higher alcohol content, it proved to be a solid accompaniment to the meal.

 Ah, the meal.  First of all, if it is your first time at Sticky Lips, let me warn you, their menu is huge.  I am generally turned off by restaurants with huge menus as it automatically makes me think that they do a bunch of things adequately but nothing well.  Not only is this not the case for Sticky Lips, but they also provide what can only be described as “sample platters” of their mouthwatering barbecue.  All are reasonably priced and come with two sides (get the cheddar chorizo grits) and a slice of cornbread (some of the best I have ever had) along with your meat selection.  Each plate has a different selection of meat so, for instance if pulled pork is not your thing, you can get the plate that has the chicken, etc. etc.  This makes for a well rounded and downright unforgettable dining experience, especially for first-timers that have yet experienced what the restaurant has to offer. 

I cannot recommend a restaurant any higher than this.  Once you try it you will definitely be planning your return visit.

After we finished our meal we made it over to the concert area, which involved parking relatively far away and walking quite a few blocks.  Though Rochester is a fairly large city and everything seemed to be concentrated within the few blocks that housed multiple stages and vendor stands, it never seemed overly crowded until we actually got to the stage that Govt. Mule was playing on (over by the Appellate Division courthouse for those keeping score at home). 

This concert affirmed two things for me.  1) If you like jam bands in the vein of the Allman Brothers Band, Govt. Mule is possibly one of the best live bands you can see, and 2) most people are douchebags.

Let me expand upon point number one first.  I realize that this music is not for everyone, Nik and Raven left about halfway through, which is actually longer than I anticipated that they would stay.  Each song is at least six to seven minutes long with a section in the middle where Warren Haynes just goes nuts on his guitar.  I love that, some other people, not so much.  The best part of the night though was their 25 minute rendition of their hit Mule that featured bits of George Thoroughgood’s Who do you love and Led Zepplin’s  Whole Lotta Love among other bits and pieces.  The crowd went nuts at the inclusion of a Zepplin tune and with good reason.  The whole song was seamless from one note to the next regardless of the different songs and artists that they incorporated.  I would suggest going out of your way to see a Govt. Mule show if you enjoy exemplary guitar work and probably the tightest group of musicians that I have ever seen.  They are currently on tour in Europe, but you don’t have to wait for them to come back to hear some live Mule.  They have multiple concert albums out as well as the tapes from many of their shows.  Just head over to www.mule.net and click on the mule tracks tab to start downloading.  Hell, you can even download Saturdays concert already to see for yourself.

Now on to point number two.  I know that people suck in general, and that the higher concentration of people that you have, the more suck that you are going to get.  That being said, a good portion of the people at the Govt. Mule show, whether they were drunk or high or had sun poisoning from being outside all day just plain sucked.  A lot of the individuals were enjoying the music and minding their own business, but as is bound to happen when a show is general admission, there were a few bad apples that mixed in.  By mixing in, I do mean that they got a little too close for comfort with their dancing (yup, I’m looking at you frat boy to my right that couldn’t help but yell to all your buddies about how you got a new guitar while practically grinding against me), their stupid conversations (really guy behind me, you choose now to tell your buddy about something you saw on the second season of Louie that you just watched on Netflix?  Go fuck yourself), or their cuddling (that’s right guy in front that just stepped in front of me with his girlfriend, apologized, but stayed there anyway and decided to nuzzle her neck and grab her ass the rest of the night).  This is just the people around me, mind you.  This did not even take into account the guy a few rows ahead of us that was probably old enough to be my father, who was drink a mysterious bright green liquid out of a gallon milk jug (seriously, this shit was the same color as the ooze in the Ninja Turtle movies, while throwing up various hand signals and (I’m assuming) trying to high-five the don’t walk sign across the street as he kept throwing his hand up in that direction.

Luckily I do not get out much, for this very reason, and I therefore do not have to worry about dealing with these people.  Luckily the concert was good enough that it out-weighed the negative experience of the people around me.