‘Tis the Season

by Nik

            I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve become anti-Christmas. I’m fairly certain it was around the same time that I became defeated by reality and humanity. Christmas, to me, has become another one of those stupid holidays (Valentine’s Day, I’m looking at you) where people go out and spend all of their hard-earned money from the year prior. They don’t spend it on useful things, or on the debt that they’ve accrued. No. It’s usually on shit. And our society encourages this.

            Do you want to stimulate the economy? Cancel Black Friday and call it Pay Your Bills Friday. Hell, make a decree: this year no one gets presents. You’re all going to be responsible adults and pay off what you already owe instead of adding to that mountain. And no, this doesn’t mean that we love our children or our spouses or our family less. That’s just stupid. My love is not quantified by the amount of money that I spend. Instead, get together. Enjoy each other’s company. Eat lots of good, homemade food. Craft something. Make something by hand. That speaks far more to love than easily spending sixty bucks on an xbox game.

            Retail: you are the number one culprit here. Playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving? Putting up Christmas decorations in October? Having Christmas sales signs up pre-Halloween? Just leave the shit up all year. You might as well. It’s become a pestilence. But I can only complain so much, because it apparently works; those Black Friday sales where stores open up at midnight, if not earlier. The numbers don’t lie. And that makes me sad. In a way, maybe it’s a good thing when people cram themselves up against the doors at Wal*Mart and the first ten get trampled in the oncoming rush. Thinning the herd, right? Darwinism at work. Since disease doesn’t take people out nearly as much as it did our ancestors, nature’s found a new way. Life finds a way. – Dr. Ian Malcolm. Yes, it’s a tragedy. And it’s probably a really terrible way to go: trampled by voracious soccer moms bare-knuckle boxing each other for the last Tickle Me Altar Boy^tm on the shelves. But, maybe it’s Fate’s way of saying “You shouldn’t procreate”. Maybe, in 50 years time, the last of the Black Friday shoppers will be kept in a cage as an endangered species, or be stuffed on exhibit like the Tasmanian Tiger, for us all to learn from the mistakes of the past.

            The big question I’m leading to with this rant is: Is it worth it? Is it worth the loss of sleep, the clear physical danger, the material possession, just to save money on some shit that you didn’t need in the first place? Logic does not seem to prevail in a world fascinated with reality tv stars only famous because they had a sex tape leak. (Is “leak” really the best word to use in reference to a sex tape? Gross) Think about it. (not the sex tape thing, the previous paragraphs) I implore you before the next holiday seasons rolls around (in June).

            And just one statement on Christmas Carols. Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite is the essential Christmas music, in my opinion. If you don’t know it, or haven’t heard it in a while, find it. I’m sure you can find it all for free online. Do yourself the favor.