When
last we left the Guardians, religion had basically screwed everything up (isn’t
that always the case?). The future
version of Ghost Rider had marked our intrepid heroes for termination, and what
the Spirit of Vengeance wants, he usually gets.
Before we get into all of that though we get two pages of backstory to
bring us up to date on the goings-on of the Guardians, just in case you haven’t
been paying attention for the last few issues.
With
that out of the way it’s back to the action.
By back to the action I mean that the Guardians are yet again severely
overmatched. This is all obviously a
huge misunderstanding as the Guardians are not the priests that Ghost Rider is
looking for, but that doesn’t stop things from escalating. Eventually it’s Aleta to the rescue again as
she separates Ghost Rider from the rest of the Guardians, just in time for the
actual priests (priests with spaceships no less!) to surround the Guardians’
ship and threaten to blow them out of the sky.
This actually convinces Ghost Rider that the Guardians were telling the
truth and he leaves, trying to draw the priests away with him, which would
allow the Guardians to escape. Of
course, no one really follows Ghost Rider (the guy they were looking for in the
first place) and instead decides to stay around and destroy the Guardians for
harboring a terrorist. 
In
order to avoid being blown to smithereens, the Guardians call on Replica to
plead with the boss of the Universal Church of Truth for their lives. The thinking is that she should be able to
reason with him because she is a member of his religion. I just want to take a second to comment on
the leader of the church’s appearance.
Actually, instead, I’ll just show you a picture of him and let you make
your own joke.
Okay,
feel better? The leader decides to bring
the Guardians to his planet in order to interrogate them. Before we can get to that, we get a quick
stop in with Force and Malevolence who are now in official team-up mode (we’ll
get back to them next issue). Onto the
planet, where the Guardians are supposed to answer for their crimes but instead
just start fighting even though they are severely outnumbered. Charlie, Nikki and Martinex hold them off
while Vance and Yondu run to see if they can find Ghost Rider. Once the three have been captured and taken
away to have their souls “saved” the leader questions Replica about the
Guardians’ star emblem (the thing that makes them teleport back to their ship
and communicate). She says they are
purely ornamental, committing the mortal sin of lying to the leader of the
religion. Valentino does a decent job of
showing her struggle with the emotions as she is slowly coming to grips with
the fact that the religion she follows so devoutly is a bunch of murderers and
zealots.
Vance
and Yondu decide that now is a great time to get a beer and wander into one of
the local bars in town. Vance claims
that he is looking into gauging the locals, which would be fine if his
teammates weren’t currently locked up by religious zealots. Oh Vance, that’s never what Cap would do.
We make
a quick detour to Aleta, who is out in space to rescue Starhawk (who is
currently floating on a meteor).
Starhawk takes this opportunity to try and reabsorb Aleta (which has
some pretty creepy rape-connotations to it, far more than you would expect in a
90’s comic about guys with giant ray guns).
Aleta pushes him away and then encases him in one of her light-bubbles
so that he can’t get to her while she flies to the homeworld because there are
prophecies about to come true (more on
that next issue).
Now
we’re back on the planet, where the Guardians are being downright tortured by
the church because they are non-believers.
This is all based on Jim Starlin’s work in his old Warlock books and
it’s pretty damn spot on to a lot of the worst aspects of some religions both
past and present. I won’t get into a
philosophical discussion about religion with you, because I wholeheartedly do not
care what your religious views are (as it should be) but I hope for your soul
that you are part of one of the good ones that Ghost Rider approves of.
Speaking
of Ghost Rider, he actually shows up and kills a couple priests (after they
kill some civilians) which Vance calls him out on. This guy that not only is trying to save his
life, but that of his friends is getting a stern talking to by Vance. Unfortunately, that’s probably exactly what
Captain America would do.
We are
back in the cell now, where the leader bursts through the door to set the
Guardians free, stating that they have been saved. Except, it’s not the leader, it’s Replica
doing her replica-thing. We find this
out because the real leader just happens to come through the door at that moment. Replica gives the Guardians their stars so
they can teleport away, just as Ghost Rider comes in and stabs the leader with
his flying flaming motorcycle. We’re
back on the spaceship and Aleta tells the Guardians what their next mission
is. It involves getting to Homeworld
because she is now “the one who knows”.
Next:
We take a trip back in time with the Guardians of the Galaxy Annual #1 before
returning to the regularly series in two weeks.
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