We open
this issue with a marriage proposal. For
those of you that were looking for a Yondu-Martinex partnership (you creepy
bastards) you are out of luck.
Admittedly, it’s difficult to discern how much time has passed from the
start of the series, but Vance, after not too long in my estimation has decided
that the best course of action would be for him to marry Aleta. The circumstances are a little strange (given
that Aleta’s ex-husband and the guy that used to share her body is on the same
team, plus the fact that Vance is covered in a containment suit that he cannot
remove except when he is in his specially formulated room. I suppose if that’s how Aleta wants to spend
the rest of her life, then more power to her, and I guess I have no place to
talk considering the fact that I’m not an interstellar space traveler and
therefore don’t know what he’s going through and what it would take to get him
to want to propose to someone under those strange circumstances. It’s just strange is all. It doesn’t help that Mephisto is watching all
this on his giant TV rock and laughing at it.
When the devil thinks you’re making a bad decision, then you’re making a
bad decision. 
What’s
even better is that we get a few more pages of exposition from Mephisto, where
he basically owns up to manufacturing everything that we’ve seen over the last
fourteen issues. Does this mean that
Valentino is the devil? I guess anything
is possible. While you could probably
see this as a cop-out, having Mephisto be responsible for all of the
machinations of the past year’s worth of stories, it’s also a novel idea that
actually ties everything together and gives the whole series a greater sense of
continuity. The fact that everything
that has happened has all been leading up to this gives this storyline an even
greater sense of importance as well.
Now, we
are introduced to the focal point of this story, and apparently the focal point
of the whole series to this point if we’re to believe Mephisto…The Protégé. Remember the Universal Church of Truth from
the Ghost Rider issues? Apparently this
little kid is the living embodiment of their god, the Magus (for those that don’t
know, The Magus is a Jim Starlin creation that coincides with Adam Warlock, and
is utilized mostly for Starlin to speak on his views regarding religion. The
whole premise of this storyline is that there is a huge tournament going on to
basically be The Protégé’s nanny. The
cool thing about The Protégé is that whatever power he sees, he can replicate,
so part of the reason the tournament is going on is so that The Protégé can up
his arsenal and be as powerful of a God as the people think he is. Malevolence, the daughter of Mephisto is
convinced that she will be the one to win the tournament and be the nanny, thus
shaping The Protégé and turning him evil in the process.
Malevolence quickly dispatches a
member of The Stark, and before we can go any further, it’s origin-story
time! This one is of Interface, leader
of Force, the group that is being tricked into helping Malevolence because
Brahl is a giant douche and went behind their back. The origin for Interface is pretty similar to
everyone else’s in the future. He was fine,
having a good time when an invading force came through and wiped out his entire
world. For most of the others in the
Guardians of the Galaxy, that invading force was the Badoon, an alien
race. It’s the thing that bonded them
all together. For Interface, the
invading force was the Universal Church of Truth, which adds an air of intrigue
to the fact that he is currently working so closely with them, even if it’s
against his will. 
We are now back on the Guardian’s
ship where Replica cowering in fear because of religion, Nikki unveils her new,
Western-inspired costume, and Aleta and Starhawk have a nice conversation in the
sick-bay about Aleta’s impending nuptials.
Back on Homeworld, Malevolence is
the victor, dispatching anyone and everyone that comes around.
Back on the ship, everyone is
pissed at Starhawk because he has no idea what’s going on (remember, he was
stabbed by Ghost Rider’s bike and is no longer the one who knows). Martinex then turns to Replica for assistance
in trying to figure out these church whackadoos by creepily calling her “baby” multiple
times, but before she can offer anything Force shows up, right on the Guardians’
ship! You would think there would be
safeguards against that sort of thing, but what do I know. Everyone starts facing off against the same
member of the opposing team that they fought in their first meeting while
Photon goes in search of Yondu, who is conspicuously absent from the fracas. 
They are not separated for long and
all of a sudden it’s origin time again as Photon begrudgingly tells her tale,
but only because it would “amuse her to do so”.
Her tale is a tragic one of persecution.
Her parents both died because she was a mutant that had laser beam eyes
and she was all alone until Interface found her and adopted her, raising her as
his daughter. 
We quickly cut back to the action,
where Aleta punks out on the Guardians, much like Starhawk used to do, and
speaking of Starhawk, in his new intangible form, he can apparently punch the
intangible Brahl, knocking him out.
Eighty-Five is about to beat up Replica, but because she’s still in
whiny religion mode he refuses to because of his Kree code of honor (which has
apparently been conspicuously absent the whole time he was a villain). Upon hearing that he’s a Kree, Replica’s true
colors come out and she attacks him.
Replica reveals that she’s a Skrull (hence her shapeshifting powers) a
sworn enemy of the Kree. This distracts
Nikki, which gives Scanner a chance to knock her out. Charlie and Broadside decide not to fight and
Marinex and Interface realize that there’s bigger fish to fry than just their
little squabbles.
As the issue ends, Aleta shows up
to challenge Malevolence as nanny for The Protégé, Scanner is about to kill
Nikki, Replica is about to kill Eighty-Five and Yondu realizes that he’s probably
going to have to kill Photon. And next
time, one of them actually dies!
Speaking of next time, it’s a
double sized issue, just for the hell of it apparently, because Jim Valentino is
an animal!
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