Thursday, August 21, 2014

Not So New Comic Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (1991) #47

                It’s an all-out Beyonder vs. Protégé Battle Royale! (If you believe the cover art)

                We actually start out by checking in on the Galactic Guardians, who are trying to figure out where the Guardians have gone.  Instead of figuring this out, we get a history lesson of things we’ve seen happen in the recent past.  A recap is never a bad thing, when it doesn’t leave you with much, and feels like it was there to take up space it’s sad though. 

                When we do get to the Guardians themselves, they’re still chatting about Vance’s new suit.  As they are marveling at the wonders of Vance’s alien suit, an earthquake hits, knocking everyone off their feet and throwing Charlie into a pit.  Yellowjacket saves him by shrinking him with her Pym particles and everyone is safe and unharmed. 

                We check in on Starhawk and Aleta who are checking in on Yondu’s homeworld.  It is safe and ready to be destroyed at a later date.  I love happy endings. 

                Now it is time to look in on the Beyonder and the Protégé, to see what they’ve been up to.  Oh, just hanging out with all of the cosmic gods, that’s all, no biggie.  To show how cool they are, the Protégé and Beyonder grow as big as the Gods and try to destroy Eternity.  Considering the fact that Eternity is the Marvel embodiment of the universe, this is a pretty stupid idea.  Luckily It doesn’t work as eternity just reincorporates himself.  This causes a big argument because apparently the Protégé thinks he should be able to destroy the universe if he so chooses.  At this point I realized that Joffrey from Game of Thrones must be based on the Protégé, at least in terms of his temperament.  Think about it for a second.

                Back with the Guardians, Mephisto is tired of getting his ass kicked so he decides to turn into the giant dread-locked bird creature with the big gut and the long tongue.  You know, his formalwear.  As Talon is about to fight back, he is blasted in the back by Malevolence, to which he exclaims “unnngh! My Back!” while looking like nothing is wrong.  Come on, West, let’s see some acting.

                As the Guardians fight Mephisto, Hollywood is on the trail of Doom, which brings him to Overkill, who has the Realiteevee nasal implant that Sidestep provided to him last issue.  As Hollywood goes to recover the implant Overkill ambushes him and he goes flying.  Why Overkill wants to harm Hollywood so much beyond the fact that he wears a Guardian star I have no idea.  However that explains why no one wants to be part of the club.  It’s like walking through Philadelphia with a Dallas Cowboys jersey on.  Bad news. 

                Next issue: Hollywood vs. Overkill.  The matchup no one wanted.   

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