What can I say, I’m a masochist
when it comes to music. I like to have
complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians. Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper,
AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not. Not only
that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and
purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but
usually only coal. During this series,
we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright
terrible. I will re-listen to them all
and give you my impression of them.
Now this is only my opinion, so
don’t take it as gospel. If you like a
particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about
it. I’m always open to discussing the
merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially
if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me
know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.
Album Name: LuLu
Artist: Metallica and
Lou Reed
Release Date: November, 2011
Why you bought it: It
was new Metallica (presumably). I hadn’t
heard any singles off the record, nor was I too familiar with Lou Reed going
into it, but I figured after the backlash from St. Anger, Metallica wouldn’t do
anything to damage their reputation any further (especially after reclaiming
some of that reputation with 2008’s Death Magnetic).
First impressions:
I’m not going to lie, this is the first time I’ve listened to the whole
album. I remember listening to disc one
and part of disc two and shutting it off in disgust. I gave it a shot, but it did not work for me
at all. The musical arrangements by
Metallica were okay, not great, and tended to drone on much like those in St.
Anger did. What really threw me off
though are the vocals. Lou Reed sounds
like he’s struggling to get the words out at times. The spoken word delivery was just unsettling,
not that he would have been able to sing any better, but the fact that the
vocals and the music very rarely synched up to the point where one wasn’t
distracting from the other. Even the
backing vocals, which James Hetfield sings, are just additional noise to this
cacophony of suck.
Impressions upon listening to it recently: It just goes on way too long. It’s not a good concept much less good
execution, but if it was the standard length of a Green Day album it would have
been okay (because Green Day sucks too, but they suck in smaller doses). Much like the smell of Indian food, this
album lingers to the point of being incredibly uncomfortable. Even the music, which was the highlight when
I first listened to it, feels equal parts unfinished and not thought out, like
Metallica was just jamming and Lou Reed came in and threw some lyrics from the back
of a napkin (still stained from the alcohol-induced vomit he had wiped away
from his mouth) over the top of it. The
fact that this went through and Metallica felt comfortable enough to not only
have their name attached, but to actually stand behind the material when the
critics lambasted it upon its release, shows how delusional they must be at
this stage of their careers, and does not bode well for future releases from
the band (if there are any).
Any saving grace?:
Nope, even the mighty Metallica can’t save this from the scrap bin.
Was it worth the purchase?:
Oh hell no, this is the epitome of a masochistic music review.
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