Masochist Music review Amen Death Before Musick

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Death Before Musick

Artist:  Amen

Release Date:  2004

Why you bought it:  Amen opened for Brides of Destruction back in 2004.  I went for the headliner but enjoyed the energy that Amen brought to the performance so figured I would give their most recent (at that time) album a try. 

First impressions:  While the energy was there, the music was pretty damn unintelligible and, in my opinion, downright unlistenable.  Without the live act to back it up, the music didn’t really hold up.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It’s all way too similar in tempo and ferocity to really be good listening.  Maybe I’m just getting old, but I’d rather hear something, anything else interspersed within the album, a guitar solo, something to break up the unrelenting wall of noise.

Any saving grace?:  Sometimes the hooks in the songs are a little catchy, but between the screaming and the unrelenting wall of noise, nothing really stands out.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Nope.

Masochist Music Review -

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Poison’d

Artist:  Poison

Release Date:  2007

Why you bought it:  I’m still trying to figure that out.  I mean, I have other Poison albums, but combining a cover album with a band well past its prime is a recipe for disaster.

First impressions:  It was okay for a cover album, but nothing special at all as the covers stayed pretty true to the originals.  In fact, the covers themselves seemed a little tame, like Poison was just going through the motions.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  The covers are still incredibly tame.  “Little Willy” and Alice Cooper’s “I Never Cry” are good, but the rest is generic karaoke-bar fodder.

Any saving grace?:  The two songs mentioned above but that’s it.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Nope, like most cover albums, this showed a steep decline in Poison’s ability to make compelling music.  This is probably one of the main reasons we have yet to see an actual album of new material from Poison since this dropped in 2007.

Masochist Music Review: Poison - Hollyweird

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Hollyweird

Artist:  Poison

Release Date:  2002

Why you bought it:  I had either just been to, or was going to a concert where Poison was playing, I think it was when they were playing with Skid Row and Vince Neil, but don’t remember for certain, and decided that I wanted to hear some Poison.  Hollyweird was either the only Poison album available, or the cheapest one available at the time. 

First impressions:  I didn’t really know Poison that well, just the singles, and not even all of those but I thought that it was okay, not great at all, but not the worst.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It’s just generic, sappy pop.  Poison was never the best band to come out of this genre in the 80’s, but they were at least decent, and the bluesier albums they put out in the early to mid 90’s were actually pretty good.  This is a far cry from any of that though as the songs here are just fluff pieces.

Any saving grace?:  The Who’s “Squeeze Box” is a decent, if quite vanilla, cover, but it’s probably the best track on the album.

Was it worth the purchase?:  For a complete original album catalogue, maybe. For the actual content, not really.

Masochist Music Review: Everclear - Welcome to the Drama Club

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Welcome to the Drama Club

Artist:  Everclear

Release Date:  2006

Why you bought it:  I bought this well after it came out, in a fit of nostalgia I’m assuming.  I liked Everclear when they first arrived, and Sparkle and Fade is still one of my favorite albums, so I was just hoping I could recapture that specific time in my life, that’s what music is good for after all.

First impressions:  It wasn’t as raw as Sparkle and Fade or World of Noise, the first two albums from Everclear, and it definitely seemed like the mainstreaming of the band had taken full effect at this point.  It’s not a terrible album, and it’s still undeniably an Everclear album, but the band has absolutely lost a bit of its edge over the years. 

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It doesn’t improve with age, that’s for sure.  Everclear was never the most original band, and this album doesn’t really get them on track to be anything interesting or relevant. 

Any saving grace?:  The nostalgia factor of hearing the band is still there, but it’s not as strong because the songs themselves are a lot weaker and way more radio-friendly than their predecessors. 

Was it worth the purchase?:  For nostalgia’s sake, sure, but beyond that, not really.  I would try one of the earlier albums before this one if you want a taste of Everclear when they were really good.

Masochist Music Review: Queensryche - Dedicated to Chaos

                What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Dedicated to Chaos

Artist:  Queensryche

Release Date: 2011

Why you bought it:  Even though I wasn’t overly impressed with any recent Queensryche releases, I was hopeful that they would turn it around.  I was wrong, so very wrong.

First impressions:  I think I only listened to it once or twice, which should tell you all you need to know. 

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I can understand why I shelved it back when I did.  Any highlights in this album (as few and far between as they may be) are overshadowed by the terribleness that is everything else on this album.  It doesn’t sound like Queensryche, hell even sub-par Queensryche (Q2K) is better than this. 

Best Track:  “Get Started” is okay, and probably sounds the closest to a Queensryche song of anything on the album. 

Worst Track:  “Got it Bad” sounds nothing like any Queensryche song I’ve heard before, and not in a good way.  The rest of the album is just jumbled drivel that sounds equal parts over-produced and unfinished.

Any saving grace?:  Not really.  It’s not like we can even hope the band can redeem itself with any subsequent release as they split up and each released an album with their own “version” of Queensryche.  They were on a downward spiral for awhile though, I think it was destined for the band to part ways after this release. 

Was it worth the purchase?:  Only if you can find it super cheap as you will probably only listen to it once or twice as well.

Masochist Music Review - Brides of Destruction: Runaway Brides

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Runaway Brides

Artist:  Brides of Destruction

Release Date: September, 2005

Why you bought it:  Being a Motley Crue fan I was intrigued by the initial release from Brides of Destruction.  Even though Nikki Sixx left after that album and subsequent tour, I thought that maybe, just maybe, Tracii Guns could keep the momentum going and make a good sophomore album.  After hearing Brides of Destruction, it also got me into LA Guns so I had my hopes up based on the fact that they were a solid band as well.

First impressions:  It didn’t really do it for me like the first album did.  The first album had the right mix of LA sleaze, grunge and pop, while this album didn’t really fire on all of those cylinders. This was a dirtier sounding record, much like American Hardcore from the dark period of LA Guns that didn’t feature Phil Lewis on vocals.  It wasn’t terrible, it just lacked a certain polish that came from having Nikki Sixx as your primary songwriter.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I like the guitar work by Guns, in particular the solo on “Never Say Never”.  Being so far removed from listening to Here Come the Brides (their debut album) I am able to listen to Runaway Brides as its own entity, without feeling the need to compare it to its predecessor.  That doesn’t, however, make it a great album.  It’s okay, but the flaws are glaring even without the comparison.  The vocals are relatively weak and the music, save for the way-too-infrequent guitar solos, is not nearly as polished as I expected or hoped it would be.

Any saving grace?:    It’s not a horrible album, and I don’t skip the tracks when they come up on my playlist, but I don’t frequently revisit the album unless it’s for something like this. 

Was it worth the purchase?: At a discounted price, sure.  Not at full price though.

Masochist Music Review: KISS - Music from "The Elder"

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Music from “The Elder”

Artist:  KISS

Release Date:  1982

Why you bought it:  I had all of the original KISS albums (the ones with all of the original members) and I had recently started to branch out and purchase the later albums from the 80s.  I remember hearing negative reviews of this album, but like Unmasked, I wanted to determine for myself whether it was a bad album or just a poorly reviewed album (as many of the original KISS albums were). 

First impressions:  I didn’t really get it, to tell you the truth.  It wasn’t like anything I had heard from KISS before.  The only song that I recognized was “A World Without Heroes” from the KISS box set that my girlfriend at the time had given me for Christmas that year.  It was odd, better than Unmasked in terms of the fact that it wasn’t so poppy, but the whole album just felt like it was trying too hard.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I can still sense a bit of desperation when I listen to it now.  KISS really wanted a hit after Unmasked was a flop, so they put a lot into this album, it was just not a good album.  The music on it is actually pretty good, with a few decent guitar solos by Frehley, but the fact that it was a concept album really hindered anything interesting that it could have been.  Instead of singing about women and rock and roll, they were singing about the training of a boy into a secret society.  That being said, some of the songs, or at least parts of the songs, aren’t that bad.  There’s a nice guitar solo on “Just a Boy”, “Under the Rose” isn’t horrible, and “Dark Light”, Frehley’s lone vocal contribution, is one of the standouts and sounds the most like a traditional KISS song from Love Gun or Rock and Roll Over.  One of the things that really surprised me about going over these “bad” KISS albums is just how much Ace Frehley contributed to the band and kept them on the old school path.  Whenever there is a bad KISS album that Ace is a part of, there’s a good chance that the best song on that album will be the one that he is singing (he also saves the best guitar work for those songs as well).  I understand why things happened the way they did between the members of KISS, but up until this point I was almost blindly following Paul and Gene while dismissing the contributions of Ace and Peter, which is wrong.  Ace had his demons, sure, but listen back to the KISS albums that people aren’t generally a fan of and you’ll hear an incredible amount of talent and consistency out of Ace.

Any saving grace?:  Ace does a great job on the guitar parts, and honestly, if you just listen to the music, it’s a decent album.  “The Oath” has almost a pre-80s hair metal feel to it, like KISS were a few years ahead of their time, and “A World Without Heroes” is a decent ballad.  Taken on their own, the songs stand up a little better.  They are not the highlights of a massive catalog of songs, but they are solid role players, the Jarrod Saltalamacchias of the KISS catalog (for all you Red Sox fans out there).

Was it worth the purchase?:  At the time, no not at all.  Looking back on it, it was worthwhile, especially since, being so poorly regarded, it’s probably infinitely cheaper than most other KISS albums.

Masochist Music Review: Ozzy Osbourne - Under Cover

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Under Cover

Artist:  Ozzy Osbourne

Release Date:  2005

Why you bought it:  Ozzy was one of my first “favorite bands” when I was growing up.  Since that time I have devoured anything I can from him, for better or worse.  It just so happens that Under Cover wasn’t for the better. 

First impressions:  I generally like to hear covers of songs just to see how an artist I enjoy puts their own spin on a traditional song (Marilyn Manson is probably my favorite both in terms of his choices of songs to cover and their overall execution).  Ozzy was no different in this respect, except for the most part he stayed a little too “true” to the originals and didn’t even really attempt to make them his own (aside from his voice that is).  That’s not to say that the song choices were all bad, in fact tracks like “Mississippi Queen”, “Rocky Mountain Way” and “Sunshine of Your Love” are excellent choices for a cover album.  The main problem was that nine of the thirteen tracks on this album actually came out earlier that year in the Prince of Darkness box set.  Picking four or five of his favorite tracks from the box set and filling out the rest of the album with ten new covers would have been ideal.  As it was, this seemed like a cash grab during a time when Ozzy’s popularity had exploded (this was shortly after The Osbournes took over television).  While I can understand why they would do it (especially if someone didn’t want to drop the $50 or whatever it was for the four disc box set) for die-hards like me, it felt like overkill and left a sour taste in my mouth from the get-go.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It’s not a horrible album by any means.  The songs chosen were pretty much all tracks that I enjoyed in their original iterations, so hearing Ozzy cover them was a bonus.  I still wish there was a bit more “Ozzy” to them though.

Any saving grace?:  Sure.  Like I said, it’s not a bad album.  The main problem was purchasing this a few months after over half the tracks were released on another album.  If I was faced with the same decision today, I would have just purchased the individual tracks for a dollar apiece off Amazon or something like that.

Was it worth the purchase?:  If you love Ozzy or just well executed cover songs than yes, absolutely.  If you already own the Prince of Darkness box set than no.  Just download the four missing tracks.

Masochist Music Review: KISS - Unmasked

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  Unmasked

Artist:  KISS

Release Date:  1980

Why you bought it:  I’ve been a KISS fan for the majority of my life.  When it came to some of the KISS albums that were not so well received, I generally decided that I wanted to make up my own mind.  Now this only went for the original albums, as I swore off the albums that didn’t feature the “original four” until I was in college (though at the time I was unaware how little involvement Peter or Ace had in Unmasked or Dynasty).  With that in mind, I purchased Unmasked despite all of the negative things that I heard about it.  If I was going to have all of the original KISS albums, than I would have to buckle down and purchase this one as well.

First impressions:  Holy crap were the reviews right on about this one.  I love the rawness of the old KISS albums, but eventually that was replaced with first a disco sound (1979’s Dynasty) and eventually with the ultra-poppy Unmasked.  How could a band that produced hits like “Strutter” and “Love Gun” now be falling so deep down the path of pop purgatory?  I listened to it, listened to it again, trying to find some kind of silver lining to this album, but I eventually shelved it and put Alive back in.  I just couldn’t do it.  Remember, this was before I was even aware of the 80s metal KISS albums (which actually combined pop with killer guitar solos thanks to Bruce Kulick and Mark St. John) so I wasn’t incredibly receptive to the idea of a full pop album from KISS.  There would always be a song or two that was more pop-based on their earlier albums, but they would be offset by “Deuce” or “God of Thunder”.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It’s more white noise now than a real solid album should be.  Nothing really stuck out, save maybe “Torpedo Girl” which is super poppy, but Ace’s voice always has a way of sticking out on KISS songs.  I still don’t like it though.

Any saving grace?:  It’s a short album at least.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Nope.  This one is bad all around.  It’s better to skip to the 80s.

Masochist Music Review: Van Halen - Balance

                What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogs when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Balance

Artist:  Van Halen

Release Date: 1995

Why you bought it:  I’m a completist, and the little that I’d heard from the album was okay.  It sounded like For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge but a tad lighter.  I wasn’t sold on the direction but I wanted to give it a try.

First impressions:  It started out well but deteriorated exponentially over the course of the album, to the point where I could almost hear how Van Halen III could be a natural progression in terms of musical direction. The songs were definitely lighter, more poppy than any of its predecessors, which weren’t terrible, at least on this album as it was on Van Halen III. 

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  Balance is still as poppy as I remember it.  I don’t remember there being so many instrumentals on it before, but there they are.  The only one that is even halfway decent is “Balucitherium”, but even that is no “Eruption”.  Other than that, it’s an ok album with not enough in the way of rock solid songs that you would expect from Van Halen.  Any sense of cohesion and fun between the band and Sammy Hagar just doesn’t seem to be there. 

Best Track:  “Balucitherium” is a decent instrumental.  “The Seventh Seal” and “Can’t Stop Lovin’ You” are two popped up versions of Van Halen tracks.   “Take Me Back (Déjà vu)” feels like it could fit on the 5150 album.

Worst Track:  None of the songs are too terrible, but the album is full of a bunch of mediocre tracks that really don’t inspire like Van Halen’s previous albums did.

Any saving grace?:  It has some good moments.  Maybe they are good moments based on their compatriots on the track list, but they are good nonetheless.  This is in no way the seminal Van Halen record, but it is not as much of a black eye as I once thought it to be.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Yeah, it’s not great but it’s a decent album.  I don’t know if I would pay full price for this one, but I’m fine spending a couple bucks on it.

Masochist Music Review: Metallica and Lou Reed - Lulu

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name:  LuLu

Artist:  Metallica and Lou Reed

Release Date: November, 2011

Why you bought it:  It was new Metallica (presumably).  I hadn’t heard any singles off the record, nor was I too familiar with Lou Reed going into it, but I figured after the backlash from St. Anger, Metallica wouldn’t do anything to damage their reputation any further (especially after reclaiming some of that reputation with 2008’s Death Magnetic). 

First impressions:  I’m not going to lie, this is the first time I’ve listened to the whole album.  I remember listening to disc one and part of disc two and shutting it off in disgust.  I gave it a shot, but it did not work for me at all.  The musical arrangements by Metallica were okay, not great, and tended to drone on much like those in St. Anger did.  What really threw me off though are the vocals.  Lou Reed sounds like he’s struggling to get the words out at times.  The spoken word delivery was just unsettling, not that he would have been able to sing any better, but the fact that the vocals and the music very rarely synched up to the point where one wasn’t distracting from the other.  Even the backing vocals, which James Hetfield sings, are just additional noise to this cacophony of suck.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It just goes on way too long.  It’s not a good concept much less good execution, but if it was the standard length of a Green Day album it would have been okay (because Green Day sucks too, but they suck in smaller doses).  Much like the smell of Indian food, this album lingers to the point of being incredibly uncomfortable.  Even the music, which was the highlight when I first listened to it, feels equal parts unfinished and not thought out, like Metallica was just jamming and Lou Reed came in and threw some lyrics from the back of a napkin (still stained from the alcohol-induced vomit he had wiped away from his mouth) over the top of it.  The fact that this went through and Metallica felt comfortable enough to not only have their name attached, but to actually stand behind the material when the critics lambasted it upon its release, shows how delusional they must be at this stage of their careers, and does not bode well for future releases from the band (if there are any).

Any saving grace?:  Nope, even the mighty Metallica can’t save this from the scrap bin.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Oh hell no, this is the epitome of a masochistic music review.

Masochist Music Review: Megadeth - Risk

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogs when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: Risk

Artist:  Megadeth

Release Date: August, 1999

Why you bought it:  This was actually my first Megadeth album.  I think I bought it in 2001 after I saw the Megadeth “Behind the Music” on Vh1.  I think it was the only Megadeth album in the store at the time or something, so it was my first by default.  I liked the music that was included on the “Behind the Music” show and went in search of it. 

First impressions:  While I didn’t find any of the classic Megadeth tracks on this album, I didn’t mind what I did find.  Honestly, at this point I didn’t know any better as I didn’t have anything to compare it to aside from a few snippets of the band’s music on the Vh1 special.  I remember listening to it quite a bit during the spring of my senior year as I drove to and from work. 

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  If you listen to all of the Megadeth albums released before this one, and then all of the ones released since this one, it’s easy to wonder where this musical direction came from.  For awhile, the band seemed to be getting more and more of a “mainstream” sound to it, yet they still had that edge.  This album erased that edge completely.  For someone that had never sat down and listened to Rust in Peace or Killing is my Business... this was fine.  Now, I know better.  While I don’t get filled with venom over the direction of the record like many of the hardcore Megadeth fans did upon its release in 1999, I rarely seek out this album when I am looking to listen to some Megadeth. 

Any saving grace?:    The best part about this record is that it was such a colossal bomb that Dave Mustaine basically took the band back over.  Instead of collaborating with producers on the album, he has been the sole creative force ever since.  This has returned Megadeth to their previous form and created memorable albums since then.  The fact that practically every album in Megadeth’s catalogue is represented in their live set except for this one is a good representation of how Risk is viewed.  

Was it worth the purchase?: At the time it opened my eyes to a new band that I have grown very fond of.  In that respect it was well worth the purchase.  I wouldn’t (and didn’t) pay full price for it though, so think of that what you will.

Masochist Music Review: My Darkest Days

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: My Darkest Days

Artist:  My Darkest Days

Release Date: September, 2010

Why you bought it:  Most of the bad albums that I buy can be categorized as just part of a collection (I want all of the Metallica albums, so I will purchase St. Anger, etc.).  This is one of the times where I had never heard the band before but I wanted to purchase the album based on one song (never a good idea).  I heard their song “Porn Star Dancing” on the radio, and while the song itself was pretty generic and the lyrics were just begging to be laughed at, it had one thing that most other songs didn’t: Zakk Wylde on guitar.  As a huge Zakk Wylde and Black Label Society fan, I figured if these guys had his stamp of approval, they couldn’t be that bad.  Plus, if there was any more of Zakk’s guitar solos on the record it would be worth it.

First impressions:  Shame on me.  The one song that was any good was the one song I had already heard.  The rest of the record was generic, unlistenable drivel.  When I was researching the album prior to writing this it said that the band was “discovered” by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback…and it all makes sense.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I realize that there is a market for this kind of sound, obviously, or else all of the new bands of the past ten years wouldn’t sound like it, but there is no real quality to this band or this record that makes it stand out.   It’s not the worst record to come out of the “everybody sounds like Nickelback” era, but it’s damn close.

Any saving grace?:    One Zakk Wylde guitar part does not a good album make.  So no, no saving grace here.

Was it worth the purchase?: Not at all, no.

Masochist Music Review: Metallica - St. Anger

What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: St. Anger

Artist:  Metallica

Release Date: June, 2003

Why you bought it:  It’s a Metallica album!  Unlike most other people, I wasn’t completely turned off by the Load/ReLoad albums and eagerly awaited the new material.  I don’t remember if I heard any new music on the radio before the release of the album, but it would not have deterred me from my purchase.  At this point, the worst album in the Metallica catalog was probably ReLoad, and if they could craft a similar album I was sure that I wouldn’t hate it.

First impressions:  Well, it wasn’t ReLoad, but it also wasn’t good.  I listened to the whole thing, searching for a silver lining (there wasn’t one) and shelved it from there.  This was the album that I took out when I wanted to “get away” though.  It is essentially just noise as there is very little in terms of melody or musical prowess here.  I could crank the volume on this and just forget everything for forty-five minutes (or whatever the run-time is).  While I didn’t enjoy the album at the time, I understood the necessity of having it in my possession.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  I’m happy to say that I am in a better place and do not need the services of St. Anger.  Unfortunately, without that necessity, I was forced to listen to the album and judge it based on its merits.  This is unfortunate for the album as the merits are few and far between.  The music is a mess and the lack of solos (something that I usually look forward to when it comes to bands with good guitarists) is disheartening.  It almost feels like Metallica made this as a concept album and the concept was “If they thought ReLoad was bad, wait till they get a load (see what I did there) of this steaming pile.” 

Any saving grace?:  Aside from being angry mood music?  Nope. 

Was it worth the purchase?: Not full price, and only if you want all of the Metallica discs, warts and all.  There’s a reason most old Metallica albums still sell at a high price…because they are good!  This is a bargain bin album for sure.

Masochist Music Review: Van Halen III

                What can I say, I’m a masochist when it comes to music.  I like to have complete catalogues when it comes to my favorite musicians.  Sometimes this is a good thing (Alice Cooper, AC/DC) but oftentimes it’s not.  Not only that, but I used to fall into the trap of hearing one or two great songs and purchasing a whole album because of it, which sometimes produced a diamond, but usually only coal.  During this series, we will dwell on some of the albums I have in my collection that are downright terrible.  I will re-listen to them all and give you my impression of them.

Now this is only my opinion, so don’t take it as gospel.  If you like a particular album in this series, let me know, we’ll open up a discussion about it.  I’m always open to discussing the merits of any particular album, and if you have any suggestions (and especially if you have the album itself and are willing to share your views) then let me know and I’d be happy to add it to the list.

Album Name: III (aka the one with Gary Cherone)

Artist:  Van Halen

Release Date: 1998

Why you bought it:  I’m a completist, and at the time I thought “How bad could it be, it’s still Van Halen, right?”  Don’t get me wrong, I heard about how bad this album was from anyone and everyone that was a Van Halen fan, but I wanted to make my own decision.

First impressions:  I didn’t want to say that I liked it, because I didn’t.  It didn’t sound like Van Halen (or Cherone’s band Extreme) but as an album in its own right, it wasn’t terrible.  The fact that I didn’t pay full price for it (I must have got it for a couple bucks on Amazon or at a used CD store) helped me to ingest it without feeling cheated.  Cherone just sounds like he’s straining through the whole album in terms of his vocals, and the music itself is far less “Van Haleny” than anything I’ve heard before or since.

Impressions upon listening to it recently:  It’s not the pile of dog shit that I thought it was back in the day, but it’s not terrible.  It’s quite jarring if you’re listening to a Van Halen mix of all the albums and one of these tracks come on.

Best Track:  "From Afar" is okay.  "Fire in the Hole" has a decent groove to it, and sounds probably the most like a Van Halen song.  "Josephina" sounds kind of like an Extreme song, but it just kind of meanders between meh and okay.

Worst Track:  "Year to the Day" doesn’t really showcase Cherone’s vocals in a flattering way (and is downright bad when you get to the chorus).  "Primary" is the poor man’s Eruption.  "The Ballet or the Bullet" is kind of all over the place in terms of content.  The vocals are bad, the music is worse.  "How Many Say I" is terrible.  It’s trying to be deep with the piano intro but just comes across as cheesy, and the vocals are bad yet again.

Any saving grace?:  Maybe that there was only one album with Cherone?  Beyond that, if you can listen to it as its own separate entity you may be able to find a saving grace, otherwise it’s a huge disappointment.

Was it worth the purchase?:  Only because I got it cheap and because I am kind of OCD about being a completist when it comes to bands I like.  Otherwise, nope.