Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Asshole Bracket - Round Two Breakdown


Please note, the italicized text is what that asshole did to garner the title.


Historical Region:


Joseph McCarthy – Labeled individuals as communists back when the “Red Scare” was a big deal.  Got people blackballed from their professions, ruined lives. (5)
vs.
Bernie Madoff – Ponzi’d the shit out of millions (8)


Matt-  I’m not going to lie, this was a little shocking to me.  To see our good buddy Adolf going out in the first round…crazy.  Bernie Madoff wins one for Jews everywhere, but I think that is where his luck runs out.  Joseph McCarthy is a grade-A asshole, and with Hitler out of the way, I can easily see him move swiftly into the final four.
Nik- Boom! First upset of the game. Pretty sure I called this one. I think Hitler’s had his time. It’s good to see some other evil wretches getting their time in the sun. I think this next round is going to be another example of more  recent villainy wins. I think Madoff is going to move on with this next round because we’re still feeling the effects of his evils and those of his ilk.


John Wayne Gacy – Guilty of killing 33 boys and young men (2)
vs.
Josef Stalin – General Asshole.  Dictator of the main opponent of the United States and freedom in general (3)


Matt-  Stalin steamrolled Cheney, while Gacy snuck by Putin at the very end to set up this matchup.  Stalin keeps rolling here as his atrocities and overall asshole nature can’t be stopped.    
Nik- I’m honestly surprised by both of these results. Not upset, however. And I do think that Stalin will move along here, as he overshadows Gacy’s crime on a more global scale.



Entertainment Region:


Kanye West – He may be the antichrist (1)
vs.
Justin Bieber – A shining example of what is wrong with today’s youth (4)


Matt-  Kanye and Bieber were both big winners here (with Bieber being only one of two unanimous victors in the whole bracket) which sets up an interesting showdown here.  Which asshole is the bigger asshole?  The kid that just turned 21 or the grown man that should know better.  I choose Kanye (of course, I will always choose Kanye when it comes to who is the bigger asshole), but the real question is, who will everyone else choose?
Nik- Oh shit. Not surprised with this turn-out either. And loving every second of it. I’m just upset that these two couldn’t make it right to the end to duke it out. Gotta say, I’m going with the Biebs on this one, based purely on how obnoxious he is.


Al Sharpton – Civil unrest profiteering and fingerpointing, a modern day Joseph McCarthy (2)
vs.
Rush Limbaugh – Seriously?  It’s Rush.  He’s the king of the assholes (3)


Matt-  Two blowhards go at it in this round, and the real losers here are the people that have to listen to them.  Sharpton takes it in my opinion because he not only profits from civil unrest, but his actions can actually incite some of that civil unrest itself.  Rush?  He’s just an old white guy with someone that is too stupid to give him a microphone.  I can’t imagine there have been riots in the streets due to his machinations.
Nik- Matt said it beautifully in this one. Sharpton moves along because he’s more of an overall evil. An every man’s evil, if you will.



General Region:


People that use welfare as a job (1)
vs.
People that passive-aggressively use memes on Facebook (4)


Matt- People That Sit on Welfare was the other big “winner” in the last round, completely demolishing their opponent.  Do I think they will have as easy of a time this next round with People That Post Passive Aggressive Memes on Facebook? Yes, yes I do.  I don’t see anyone in the field of competition that can take them down at this point. 
Nik- Agreed. I don’t know how this Memes one even got this far. It doesn’t stand a chance. Welfare it is. Move along.


People that use civil unrest to loot stores and push their agenda (2)
vs.
That guy that drives 65 in the left lane (3)


Matt-  Both of the winners here did so by the slimmest of margins, so it will be interesting to see who advances from this pairing.  I could see either moving on, especially because looters are not as prevalent in everyday life as people that can’t goddamn drive.  I’m going with the driver.  Familiarity wins. 
Nik- I’m actually going with Looters on this one, ‘cause I think they’re a greater evil, despite their being less prevalent. They have more of a societal effect.



Deceptive Region:


Lance Armstrong – Doping/Lying/Destroying the lives of those that were trying to expose his doping/lying (1)
vs.
Stephen Collins - Pedophilia (4)


Matt-  It’s the old-news asshole in Armstrong vs. the recent asshole in Collins.  Does the fact that people have had time to come to grips with Armstrong’s acts play into the voting process?  I say no, an asshole is an asshole.  It’s hard to say that anything is worse than pedophilia though.  I’m so conflicted.  A flip of the coin says Armstrong.
Nik- I’m going with Armstrong on this one too. In terms of quantity vs. quality, he takes the taco on this.


Ray Rice – Beat his wife (6)
vs.
Paula Deen - Racist (7)


Matt-  Clinton and Cosby escape unscathed as Paula Deen and Ray Rice move right along.  To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think either of these two would be here, but at least what Ray Rice did was a criminal act, which makes him an even bigger asshole in my mind.  I still find it hard to admonish an old white southern lady for being racist.  That would be like admonishing the sun for being bright, or John Travolta for being a closeted homosexual.  Rice moves on.
Nik- WHAT THE WHAT?! I am flabbergasted here. Not unpleasantly. Quite tickled, honestly, that we see these two. But in terms of being a wretched human being, I definitely have to say that Rice wins this one. Hell, he might make it a couple more rounds, at this point. And who is he? Does he play the footballs?



No comments:

Post a Comment