Please Welcome Nik Magill to the Stage

First things first, a moment of silence for the family cat, Pee Wee Sherman that died last night at the ripe old age of thirteen.  She lived longer and happier than most expected considering the fact she weighed way more than she should have (I'm talking upwards of 30 pounds at her heaviest).  You will be missed Fat Sherm.


On to new business.  It is with great pleasure that I present my brother Nik.  Not only does he edit all of the non comic strip posts that I create so that they have at least a shred of professionalism, starting today he also will be a contributor to the site on Tuesdays and/or Thursdays.  So, without further ado...

All Hail the Mighty Taco!

Or, on second thought, no, you don't actually need to.

            So last night my wife and I ate at the much-anticipated, heavily-trafficked Mighty Taco (think Taco Bell, just with a little different of a style). As you can probably discern from the title of this review, Mighty Taco was an exciting addition to the Rochester eating scene. Since Raven (the wife) and I moved here about two years ago, I would pretty regularly hear that Buffalo has this great taco place, called Mighty Taco, but they're all the way in Buffalo, boo! Then, about two months ago, we heard the hub-bub in the underground taco scene "mightytacomightytacomightytaco". Rochester was granted its own Mighty Taco about a month ago. And boy has it made bank! Every time that Raven and I drive by, there's a huge line inside and at the drive-thru. And because of those long lines, Rae and I have always been hesitant to go in. I certainly don't want to wait a half hour for a fast food taco. But, last night we were in the area (cancelling our gym membership, actually. Yes, irony, I see you what you've done there), and the lines seemed smaller than usual, so I asked Rae how mighty she was feeling. We buckled and went in.

            There was still a line. To the door. We waited in line about 20 minutes. That is not a slight at Mighty Taco at all; good for them, a month after opening, to still have a line to the door at 8 o'clock on a Friday night.

            So, their food line-up is pretty decent. Not as extensive as Taco Bell, but who cares? If the food's good, give me one option. (look at food trucks: one specific thing done so well. Or even Chipotle. Our favorite Mexican joint with a total of, what, five different things on the menu?) You have options for tacos, burritos, salads and fajitas. Meat options are their Mighty Beef (more on that later), Mighty Chicken ("Your beef alternative"), steak and veggie. Prices are really decent. Average a buck and half a taco, 2.5 for a burrito. Also, I should note, they have the "Buffito." As they came from Buffalo originally, the alleged home of the "Buffalo Wing", they naturally had to incorporate that. So, it's a burrito with buffalo-style chicken. I did not partake, so I cannot speak to it, as I prefer my Mexican food unspoilt by outside influence. But it's a novel idea.

            Raven and I opted for the full dining experience (as much of an experience as you can have at a fast food joint). We went with the following: three layer bean dip with their signature "chip strips" to start, a Mighty Pack (6 Mighty Tacos consisting of beef, salsa, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese) which Rae and I split with 3 hard tacos (as flour tortillas make my beloved want to vom) and three soft tacos for the gentleman, a cane sugar loganberry soda, and an apple empanada to round out the meal.

            The dip: The term "layer" is being generous. It would be more aptly named as a "Dip Pile". It was housed in the traditional take-out container that you see in Chinese food, the one with the black plastic bottom and the clear plastic top. Half of the rectangle was reserved for the chip strips (i.e. rectangle tortilla chips). The other half was our dip. It consisted of a smear of refried beans on the bottom, super-sweet high-fructose salsa, a glop of sour cream, and then a garden of shredded lettuce atop. If there had been more beans, it would have been salvageable, I think, but there was a distinct lack of the substance. The salsa was over-poweringly sweet, being the bulk and body of the dip. The best part was the chips. Which weren't anything special. Not even in-store fried. Rating: 1.5 chip strips out of 5. Below average. Mediocrity would have been welcome. We could have made better for less at home.

            The Mighty Pack: 6 tacos for just over 7 bucks. Deal. I'll take it. If they're good tacos. I can't say anything of note about the shells, both hard and soft were generic taco shells. Their signature "Mighty Beef" was not that good. The seasoning was odd, I think I almost tasted something like clove in there, it was an odd spice. I should note, I am a cumin fiend. My favorite spice of all time. That's why I love Mexican food so much, when their beef is basically just a vehicle to eat cumin. So the beef was less than impressive. A little more substance to it than Taco Bell's, there's is a slurry, really. And I know Taco Bell's is "meat product", but it's so damn good... The salsa had no chunk to it. Just a liquid. It packed a good heat, though. Nothing more disappointing than ordering something "hot" and getting a sad attempt, like a chili pepper farted into your taco. The lettuce was, well, lettuce. Just shredded water. It was crisp; that's pretty much all that can be said about lettuce at any tacoria. Now, get this, the most horrifying thing: the cheese was a slice of white American. No shredded. No cheddar. White f-ing American cheese. Are you kidding me? American cheese is an atrocity to begin with, but when you slap a Kraft singles onto my taco, now you're just insulting me. I've never been to the Mighty Taco in Buffalo (and never will go), so I don't know if the American is a signature thing, but I don't care. You go right to hell, processed American cheese. Blaspheme to put much else but cheddar on Mexican food. (and they have a "3 Cheese Burrito" which claimed to put American, cheddar and Swiss on there. Also definitely not okay) The tacos were so disappointing that Raven couldn't even finish hers, she got one and half down and had to call it quits (and that's bonkers, 'cause I've seen this girl house a half-dozen Taco Bells with room for more). While I ate the last one and a half hard-shelled tacos, she dejectedly ate the rest of the dip (i.e. ate the chips). Rating: Half of a Mighty Taco out of 5. Next time I'll specify that they not include a healthy dose of disappointment with my tacos. What pushed me over the line? The cheese. Maybe if it'd been cheddar, it could have been salvaged. *coughprobablynotcough*

            The Loganberry Soda: I forget the brand. Not important. It said that it used cane sugar. That's awesome. We try to limit our high fructose corn syrup (hfcs) intake as much as possible. But, it was from the soda machine, so I have no guarantees that it didn't have hfcs, it never said that it didn't... it just said "cane sugar" on the sign. Hell, I can sell you a bag of poo, and just write "caviar" on the front of it, as long as there's a single fish egg in there, I bet I could get away with it.

            It tasted like when you melt down a red freezy pop and just drink the syrup. It was okay, a nostalgic flavor. Rae didn't like it too much 'cause she never liked freezy pops (but she drank most of it *ahem*). It was an eggplant purple color, which was slightly off-putting. But I don't really know what a true loganberry looks or tastes like, so maybe it's perfect. Rating: 3.5 gulps out of 5. The best part of the meal. If I had to choose from a soda fountain, I'd go for it again. I wouldn't go out of my way to get it, but overall not terrible.

            The Apple Empanada: Now, traditionally, an empanada is a little dough pocket filled with goodies (either sweet or savory). The empanada we got? A full sized flour tortilla, filled with canned apple filling, rolled and fried (not deep fried, it looked stove-top seared). The filling was super-sweet (hfcs) and I only ate a quarter of it, giving the rest to Raven, who ate hell out of it. Probably the best part of the meal for her. I would have preferred a dough around apple filling, but alas, nothing to be done. I imagine they don't even roll them there, they just take them from the freezer and nuke them. They also had a cherry option, but I imagine it would be the same thing with just a cherry pie filling. Rating: 2 pie fillings out of 5. Can't be too disappointed. It's a fast food dessert; fulfills the sweet, end-of-meal quota.

            Overall: Just go to Taco Bell. Mighty Taco sure-as-shit isn’t worth the half-hour wait. Now, I know that I have more of a discerning palate than the general public, so maybe people love the place. And I cannot judge you for liking something that I don't. But for what Mighty Taco has to offer in individuality, they seem to fall short in each department. I see the attempts to differentiate themselves from the pre-established fast food taco, but each of those was a step in the wrong direction.

            I posed the question to Raven during supper: how much of this line is people who want to experience Mighty Taco for the first time, and how much is returning customer base? How many people are going into Mighty Taco for the first time and having the same reaction that we are? 'Cause they certainly won't be return customers if that's the case (we're not going to return). When the hype dies down by the end of the summer, how much business will be left for them? I certainly don't think they'll go out of business, but I think once the rush is done, the halls of Mighty Taco will look just like any other fast food joint. Pretty sparse, but with enough business to pay the bills. Even Burger King and KFC have busy times, and so shall Mighty Taco. But I'm afraid Mighty Taco has not revolutionized the fast food industry, nor has it flipped it on it's head. It will soon sink into mediocrity, becoming just another bland option in the unremarkable line-up of cheap, not very good, quick food options out there