Comic Review - Master's of the Universe #2

I have yet to review two issues of the same book, much less two consecutive issues, however, because the first issue came out July 1, and here we are on September 13, enough time has passed to warrant a fresh look (in my mind anyway, if you don’t agree then so be it). 

Cover:

            Ok, the fact that the cover actually pertains to the story is a bonus.  I like the traditional purple/orange color palette as well, and He-Man is drawn pretty well.  The problem here (and throughout the comic itself in general) is Trap Jaw.  If you grew up with the cartoon, and especially the action figures, in the ‘80s, there is a good chance that Trap Jaw was one of your favorites, as he was mine.  Here, he is presented as the leader of a nomadic tribe that captures He-Man/Adam.  Just the fact that on the cover Trap Jaw is depicted wearing a robe of some kind takes away from the general bad-assery of the character.  Trap Jaw is a tough guy that lost his jaw and had it replaced by a mechanical one.  He also has a right arm that can transform into various weapons/implements such as a gun or pincers.  Bad character designs aside, the strange way that the color from Trap Jaw dissipates over He-Man’s charging form could probably have been handled better.

5/10 – It’s an ok cover composition with decent coloring, but the actual drawing on everything but He-Man is not my cup of tea.

Story:

            The premise is great, and it provides a way for us to get introduced to the characters, especially for the audience that has yet to be exposed.  However it is written by someone that admitted (in an interview with CBR I believe, Google it if it interests you) that he wrote the character treatments before ever seeing an episode of the classic cartoon.  While it did not really show through too much in the first issue, this issue is a harsh reminder of that fact.  There is only one instance in this whole issue that comes across as an improvement on the existing characters.

Skeletor is pretty badass here.  Now if only Trap Jaw didn't look like some kind of robotic simpleton this would be a decent page

The rest of the time, the characters that we grew up with are relative caricatures of their former selves.  I will admit that the MV Creations series from the early 2000’s was a bit too campy and felt like it was taken a little too much from the cartoon, but at least it had the heart and soul of Masters of the Universe.  This is just a pale imitation.  I think that the most egregious story twist, aside from the terrible dialogue, is that He-Man is now Skeletor’s nephew.  Did I miss something over the last thirty years?  Is this something that was mentioned?  I know that Teela is the Sorceress’s daughter, but this whole “everyone is related” thing is ridiculous. 

            He-Man does some pretty stupid thing himself, such as ask the mysterious guys with the creepy red eyes for a drink of water.  Really?  I know Adam in the cartoon played dumb to throw people off his trail, but I think this iteration really is dumb. 

            The whole redesign of Trap Jaw is terrible too.  The fact that his hand now changes into stuff based on some kind of glowing dragon bug thing makes absolutely no sense and it is never actually touched upon aside from a one-panel drawing of the bug crawling out of his arm?  Huh?  This is what took two and a half months to produce?

2/10 – The only reason it’s at two instead of one is that page that makes Skeletor look like a badass.  Other than that, it’s a pretty terrible book.

Art:

            This book took two and a half months to publish and the original creative team of Robinson and Tan had to be assisted by Keith Giffen (writing) and Howard Porter (pencils).  Unfortunately the extra time and the extra sets of hands do nothing to help this book in terms of the content.  Porter’s pencils are not good as his proportions tend to go out of whack very easily and his panel and page layouts are way more confusing than they need to be.  While Tan’s page layouts are clearer and his anatomy at least a little more consistent, his character designs and storytelling are suspect.

So apparently Skeletor likes fruit and using the Darth Vadar "force choke".  Do you hear that sound?  It's the sound of my childhood weeping.

What just happened here?  Did he turn some random woman to stone?  Can he do that?  Why are his proportions so out of whack?  Does that happen when he turns people to stone?

This is the extent of explanation you get for Trap Jaw's shape-shifting arm.  Yup, that is no explanation at all. 

And....Teela's derp-face.  If that doesn't sum up this abortion of a comic book I don't know what does.

2/10 – What was Santalucia doing that they couldn’t get him to help out?  Anyone that worked on the MV Creations titles would have been a huge upgrade.  I know that this is not one of the New 52, DC, but fuck, put some thought into who you hire for projects that are based on longstanding licensed properties.

2/10 – Here’s what I want you to do; take your hand, ball it up into a fist, and punch yourself right in the face.  That’s about as much fun as this comic was to read.  Seriously, the best part of this comic was the double page Joe Kubert Memorium.