Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Hear Me, Oh facebook Sheep!


            One thing that I notice a lot lately is the massive amount of religion that has invaded facebook.  I am not religious in any way, but I went to church growing up and hit all of the Roman-Catholic milestones on the way.  While I do not begrudge my father for forcing that upon his children, the fact that it is being forced upon adults in ever so shitty ways makes me both shake my head and get kind of punchy.  Let me make something clear, I do not care what religion you are, or how far ingrained in that religion you are, you could be a Christmas/Easter Catholic or someone that goes to church everyday and does not leave home without a Bible/Prayer Book etc.  What I find to be ridiculous is when that love of religion that you have is shoved down my throat in the form of your forwarded facebook posts. 
            I am not talking about the bluntcard meme things that take up way too much of everyone’s time and energy to find and read.  Those are dumb, and the people that post ten to fifteen of them on their own page per day are dumb as well (especially if they are over the age of 16).  What I am talking about is the “like this post and you side with Jesus, ignore this post and you are Satan’s butt-buddy” posts that pop up from time to time.  Like I said, I don’t care how fanatic your religious leanings are, putting that on your own page and sharing it with all of your “friends” proves that you, my friend, are a dumbass.  Liking your fucking facebook post will have no bearing on my eternal soul.  If I really believed in all of that, I may be offended by your assumption that what you post on your wall has any bearing on me whatsoever.  You should know two things about me.  1.  I am not easily offended by anything, and 2.  I find that the best way to deal with that kind of fanaticism is through humor and, if I may use a term that will probably get me stoned (the bad kind not the good kind), bullying.  You are trying to bully me into liking your post so that I don’t have to get a pineapple shoved up my ass for all eternity, well bullying is a two way street and I can be very effective at it.
            You, oh religious nut, are a sheep.  Anyone that clicks on that post is a sheep.  And for that matter, anyone that clicks on those posts about veterans or cute animals is a sheep as well.  Of course we want the veterans to be safe, of course that cat wearing sunglasses is cute, why must the request be made to like your stupid photo?  More importantly, why are people falling in line like Jews to the oven in order to like something that someone else tells them to?  Your blind devotion to cute animals, veterans or the feeble promise of saving your immortal soul makes you mindless, thoughtless sheep. 
            As if to prove me right, directly after writing this article I checked my facebook account and lo and behold, a posting proving me right.  Hold on to your nuts because this one is a doozy.  “Hit like if you love your grandma, ignore if you want your grandma to die”.  Yup.  Not liking their stupid fucking post is apparently a death sentence for grandmothers everywhere.  It’s like the “step on the crack break your mother’s back” children’s rhyme but amongst people that should know better – and yet they don’t. 
            Have an opinion of your own.  If you want to like a photo, try liking one that does not come with the stigma attached to it, or a requirement for liking it.  You know who else has certain requirements like that?  Cult leaders.  Yup.  Quit drinking the fucking facebook Kool-Aid!  

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